Right Now

So, where am I?
Monday I mentioned that I was going to do a real post on where I am right now.
To say it plainly – I am all over the place.
Since quitting my job, getting married and moving 1,019.6 miles away I’ve found myself in military housing with a husband, a cat, and a lot of alone time.
My days kind of look like this:
Wake up, go for a 2 mile walk listening to a podcast, maybe spend some time with Jesus – or maybe not (i’m in a rough spiritual spot right now), eat breakfast, do some blog work, go to the gym, run errands, come home and do more “work” and then clean and take care of the house.
I put quotations around work because I don’t feel like I’m actually doing anything.
I guess I should re-phrase that – I’m not making money and that is a hard pill for me to swallow.
I have never NOT worked since I was 15. For 13 years I have never been un-employed and I pride myself on being a hard worker and being able to take care of the bills myself. So what an interesting turn to leave the corporate world and be sitting in a different state with no job.
That’s not to say I don’t plan on getting something part time – but I knew I would only be in Maine for a few months before our next move so there just wasn’t enough mental space for me to get acclimated to all the changes. From leaving the only home I’ve ever known, to getting married and learning how to be a wife, to leaving all of my friends behind knowing that the relationships would fade out, and then to try and find a job that I would be able to keep for maybe 2 months – I just couldn’t do all of that in 3 months. Well I guess I could, but I didn’t have to.

I’ve gotten really comfortable here in the short time I’ve called this place home.
Maine is gorgeous and so full of life and cute shops and health food stores and it is super pedestrian and bicycle friendly. I’ve gotten to chat with my upstairs neighbor a good bit and enjoy the socialization. I’ve met some fellow creatives who are just super sweet – and while I haven’t developed actual friendships with anyone, I started to grow some smallllllll legs in that department.

And now we’re moving again.

I’ve started collecting boxes to start the packing process.
Thankfully I was able to pick the apartment this time (no more base housing!) and even though the closest trader joes is 30 minutes away (SAY IT ISN’T SO!) I think it will be nice to try to get back out there and find a church, meet some creatives, get a part-time job, and just…learn.
Learn.
I HAVE SO MUCH TO LEARN.
Going from 28 years of civilian life to military-wife life overnight is a game changer and there are moments when I just stare at Eddie opened-mouthed saying “You’ve been doing this for almost 12 years and it’s second nature for you, but you’ve GOT to teach me these things.”

Speaking of Eddie & myself, everyone wants to know how married life is going.
I can answer that in two sentences:
I am beyond thankful that I have entered into a covenant with a man who loves the Lord, treats me as an equal, loves me faithfully, pursues me, makes me laugh like a wild child, and is just my other half – our marriage is good and strong and growing and beautiful and loving.
It is also challenging.
Not in a bad way, just the learning-how-to-be-married-with-life way.
Eddie has been in shift work since 3/1.
Which means every. single. day. he is out of the house around 430am and gets home between 430-6pm.; since March 1st he has had 2 days off. So starting our marriage with military shift work that is super stressful on Eddie is an interesting season.
I’m not bitter or angry about it, frustrated sometimes because I would like a day to just explore this area with my husband instead of going about it solo. Then I remind myself that while we were dating and engaged that every single time I came up here we explored together and I know that this is only temporary. He is a trooper though. He still comes home happy to see me and goes out of his way to see how he can serve me, while I go out of my way to try to serve him. We’re still lovey dovey and heart eyed, but with all of this time being isolated from family and friends it feels like we’ve been married 5 years instead of 3 months.
Our first year of marriage will consist of: 3 moves, lots of shift work, a few months apart from each other, family sickness, and learning how to be married.  So it’s just a lot of transition stuff.

So that is a small glimpse on where I am right now in life.
I’m about to finish watching an intervention episode, go to the gym, and then come home and clean and start the packing process. Tomorrow will be much of the same, and maybe even throwing in some job hunting….who knows.

Thank y’all for reading my ramblings – for being present and real with me, and for letting me just WRITE without caring about sentence structure or if it all makes sense.
Sometimes you just need to type without caring what all comes out ya’know?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *