There is something absolutely sacred about them; they are the words that intertwine your covenant with the Lord and your spouse. They can be simple and stunning or lengthy and beautiful. I will go ahead and say this; traditional vows and personal vows are BOTH amazing. You don’t have to do both, and you shouldn’t feel pressured or bad because you did one over the other – I truly believe that it’s the motivation, heart, trust, and belief behind the vows that really matter. You are ready for the commitment and your heart is truly in the right place.
With that being said, Eddie and I chose to do both traditional and personal vows.
I love the directness of traditional vows, how they are clear and intentional, and they are questions poised to make you stop and reflect on the promises you’re making. The pastor who did our premarital counseling and married us gave us a copy of our traditional vows while we were planning our ceremony. Can I be 100% honest?! I cried while reading them, to me, they were the absolute best promises we could make to one another and I was so thankful that they lifted up Christ as well as each other; drawing our covenant in that beloved triangle.
I remember when we got to the vows.
I was nervous, not in a bad way, just in a “I may start crying and not stop” kind of way.
When we were planning the order of the service I remember telling Pastor Rod that I wanted to say my personal vows first because I wanted to be able to clearly talk – I didn’t trust myself to not become a blubbering mess when I heard Eddie’s vows. I cried, but It was a joyful cry full of hope and peace and thankfulness – Eddie’s words to me were reaffirming and to the point and most importantly, him. He was promising me all that he was and I was doing the same.
Eddie’s Traditional Vows:
Eddie, your promises today to Amy are holy and serious. Is it your intention to give her your best in everything from this day forward?
By the grace of God and following the example of Christ’s love for you, do you promise to unconditionally love Amy for the rest of your life?
As her husband and friend, do you promise to be there for her when she succeeds, will you encourage her through her struggles, and comfort her when he hurts?
Do you promise to blend your life with hers, always listening and caring for her concerns, always sharing with her your joys and your sorrows, your dreams and your struggles?
Do you promise to place her happiness, safety, and cares above your own? Will you consistently pray for her, and be willing to sacrifice for her the way Christ sacrificed Himself for you?
My Traditional Vows:
Amy, your promises today to Eddie are holy and serious. Is it your intention to give him your best in everything from this day forward?
As Eddie’s wife and friend, do you promise to serve with him in your home for the rest of your lives? Will you remain faithful to Eddie alone and respect him for who God created him to be?
Do you promise to love him even when things are difficult, by relying on God’s help and will you keep his needs above your own?
Do you promise to encourage Eddie in all things and help him to become more like Christ?
Do you promise you will listen to him with a gentle spirit and work with him as he seeks to Lead?
Eddie’s Personal Vows to Me:
Nothing in this world worth having comes easy. And we both know this day did not come easy.
Every choice that I have made in my life has led me to this point. To this day. Despite all the pain, and all the struggles that I have endured in my life, I look at you and I know that God must’ve been pleased with something I did to give me you.
I cannot promise you an easy life. There will be trying times. There will be times where we don’t like one another. But I promise this to you. That I will always love you and I will give you all that I have and all that I am. My life goal outside of Christ is to make you happy.
My Personal Vows to Eddie:
I can’t believe that today I am going to become your wife!
We have been through so much together and I am so humbled to be standing in front of our Lord, our family, and friends as we join our lives together. I think back to the night I handed you a small piece of paper saying I was ready to give us a try, and I am so thankful you pursued me in the steadfast manor that you did. You broke through my defenses and loved the pieces of me I kept hidden for so long. You bring out the best in me.
I promise to be your confidant; to help carry the weight of your burdens and be a soft spot to land after a hard day. I promise to make you laugh and to embrace being weird together, especially when you’re not prepared for the touches. I promise to be your encourager and remind you of how irreplaceable you are. I promise to partner with you spiritually and continually work on making God the foundation of our marriage.
I promise to be your adventure mate for the rest of our lives, exploring as much of God’s creation as we can. I promise to practice grace in our marriage and remember that it is grace that heals wounds. I promise to be faithful and true to you and to challenge you to always push forward. Most of all I promise to love you as you deserve to be loved, unconditionally – even when it’s hard.
Today, Eddie, I join my life with yours and I could not be any more joyful in my decision. With my whole heart, I take you as my husband, acknowledging and accepting your faults and strengths, as you do mine. I can not wait to see what adventures God has in store for us.
It’s like I’m finally home.
I love you.
Many people get their wedding vows framed, I have our hand-written ones sitting in a box waiting to find the right place to call home.
As the years start to blur together and our lives get more tangled and we have more things happen, I always want to remember our promises to one another.
The words we spoke sealing our hearts together as husband and wife.
These words, spoken with a pure heart, have forever changed my life.