i can’t believe it’s already time for the second installment in the You Are Lovely series.
man time is flying and i can’t believe we’re almost DONE with February!
i’m so excited to introduce Laura to all of you today.
i know some of you are regular readers of her blog, | A Hearty Overflow | as am i, but for those of you who have yet to meet her, trust me you will be captivated.
Laura loves the Lord and has the most genuine, caring, honest, and compassionate heart. i am so incredibly blessed to not only read her blog, but to call her a friend.
so grab a cup of something warm and dig in, laura’s perspective is absolutely wonderful.
enjoy.
you are lovely | second installment
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Sticks and stones might break my bones… and those bones will eventually heal. But words…words can wound forever.
It is impossible to unhear what has been heard. I can’t unhear the boy in 8th grade who told me I had really hairy arms. Or the person who said I had a big forehead. I wish that I had never attended the Avon party when I was in high school where the Avon lady told me I needed to pluck my eyebrows. I’ve been doing it ever since.
I wish the jewelry lady would have never said that every girl looks a little better with makeup on or that we should try dying our hair because our natural color might not be our best color.
I’m 34 and I don’t wear makeup OR dye my hair. Never have. Wait… I take that back. I once dyed my hair blue and I wore makeup two times… once for five minutes and once for two hours. I hated it.
So basically I’ve been told I could look better if I covered up my natural self.
The world has made beauty about what is on the outside. And yes, the outside can be beautiful too… but real beauty is much deeper than that. It’s like when I had a crush and was all “that boy is soooo CUTE” and then I talked to him and was all“ewww… he’s not cute at all.” Why does that happen? Because outer beauty is shallow.
I’ve chosen to embrace the deeper beauty over the shallow beauty.
(Let me put a disclaimer here… I am not against makeup or dying your hair or wearing cute clothes. If that’s your thing go for it! Doing those things doesn’t mean YOU are shallow.)
The deeper beauty flows out of the heart. Beauty is seen in kindness toward others, in forgiveness to those who have wronged us, in a heart that is content and at rest. It is seen in faith that carries us through the storms of life, in humility and generosity.
Beauty is seen when we share our stories… and that is where we meet with vulnerability. And ladies… real, honest vulnerability is BEAUTIFUL!
It’s also scary.
Because when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable we open ourselves up to the criticism of others and the possibility of being hurt. So, many times, what people choose is to far more often display their outer beauty instead of their inner beauty. Because if I’m rejected because of how I look or dress or wear my hair it’s easy to say SO WHAT! WHO CARES! But if someone doesn’t like who I am… well that just hurts.
So… I often find myself at a crossroads in life… be open and vulnerable and share my heart… or close it off. I choose to be vulnerable. In being vulnerable I have definitely been hurt, but I have also found great friends, deep relationships and kindred spirits. When you have that, you can survive the hurt that comes from the few.
I have a seven year old daughter and I just love watching her in her innocence. She will put on a dress and twirl and twirl. She knows she is beautiful. Not too long ago she was looking in the mirror and pretending that she was twitterpated with herself because she was “just so cute!” (If you don’t know what twitterpated is you need to go watch Bambi!) I hope she never stops believing that she is beautiful. And I hope that I never make her beauty about what is on the outside. I tell her all the time “Liza, you have a beautiful heart!” She really does. I often find myself thinking when I grow up I want to be like my daughter. I want the freedom she has in knowing that she is lovely. The innocence of not yet having had someone point out what they thought were flaws. The knowing that who she is and how she is is ok.
And I hope that when I am old with thin gray hair and wrinkles and age spots all over… I hope that when I walk in a room people see someone who is beautiful because WHO I AM outshines the outside.
(PS… Taking self portraits is the most awkward thing for me because what I love most in photos is genuine smiles. It’s hard to get a genuine smile out of myself for a camera on a tripod. Buy Amy requested self portraits so Amy got self portraits!)
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feel free to learn more about the series and grab the button to share.
Yes! It is so awkward trying to get good self portraits. I discovered the same thing when I was taking mine for this project, haha!
I agree whole heartedly about beauty being an inner thing. So often I think someone is beautiful until I began to hear them speak or see how the act. And suddenly the appeal is lost. Great thoughts, here! 🙂
Great post, Laura! 🙂 I love that you're encouraging your daughter even now. And that you're there, setting the example for her too!
So many amazing words in this post! I love the innocence that children have, and I love that you encourage her to realize her inner and outer beauty.
Loving this series already, Amy! Hope to get my post to you soon.
So many amazing words in this post! I love the innocence that children have, and I love that you encourage her to realize her inner and outer beauty.
Loving this series already, Amy! Hope to get my post to you soon.
Loving this series girl!
I love how she encourages her daughter like she does, so cool!
I am working on my post for you, so it should be to you sometime this week 🙂
Such a beautifully written post. I am always learning something from you two ladies and today's post did not disappoint. I loooved Laura's words on outer beauty and vulnerability–that is so true and something I never considered before.
And I also love what Laura (who I hope you're reading this by the way!) said about her daughter. It baffles me that at one point in our lives we consider ourselves pretty or beautiful and then in an instant we suddenly don't believe any of the words we once held dear to our hearts. Growing up is bittersweet, right? That said, I hope that kids never lose their sense of true beauty and hold onto those wise words Laura wrote!
I rarely wear makeup, but I do think it just looks more professional for business meetings and such. And sometimes it helps when I'm looking really rough 😉 But I've never dyed my hair. I used to hate the "dirty blonde" label, but I've gotten a lot of compliments on my natural highlights, and now it's one of my favorite features about myself.