today you get to hear from rach who blogs at | this italian family |.
i am so truly excited for y’all to hear her story.
not only is it honest, but it is beautiful and full of hope.
each installment of the you are lovely series continues to bless my heart, and i hope it is reaching into yours as well.
enjoy.
you are lovely | fifth installment
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From the time that I was a little girl, I had different hair than most of my family. Where they had straight hair, I had baby curls which turned into ringlets which turned into a frizzy curly mess as I got older.
Me in 1989
Part of the frizzy mess issue was simply that no one in my family was really sure what to do with my curly mass of hair. I get my curls from my dad who keeps his hair short. It didn’t help that I hated having my head touched because of the tangles so really my hair just looked like a messy afro most of the time. And worst of all was when bangs were really in during the early 1990s and all my sisters got bangs which meant I did too. Bangs + Curly Hair = giant bush above your eyebrows.
This is my hair today in its natural state. No longer a giant afro thanks to a good hairstyle, my hair changing as I get older, and using a sulfate free shampoo that has obliterated nearly all frizz from my hair. But still wild and crazy. And yes, I am a little nervous about the idea of putting a photo of my hair in all its wild glory on the internet, but I want to be brave. And I want to not be shackled by the fear of not being good enough because of something as arbitrary as what grows on my head.
Today, I love my hair. Yes, it is still wild if I don’t put any product in it or take time to do it (and to tell you the truth, I normally only take time to do my hair on the weekend which is why you’ll see me in a braid, bun or ponytail the rest of the time), but I still love it. Since I know how to do my hair now, it can look amazing both curly and straight which is like the best of both worlds in my book. 🙂
And this is my hair after it has been “done.” Though it’s not quite perfect because it had actually been done the day before and was in a ponytail this day up until I took this shot. So it’s still not perfect. BUT! This is when I feel lovely. When my hair is done and I know it looks good.
I know this post is really long already, but I want to turn a different direction to answer one of Amy’s other questions. She asked what I thought of the Hollywood standard of beauty. Here’s where I am on that:
When I was 16, I got my first modeling gig. I wasn’t looking for it. It never would have occurred to me that I was “model material,” but one day someone saw me out and about and they hand picked me. I felt so special. And beautiful. My face was in magazines, in department stores, and on billboards. Oh sorry, I meant to say, my airbrushed face. I know that people look at models in magazines and think “oh wow, I wish I looked like that,” but here I was… the model herself, wishing I looked like this more perfect version of myself. It was heart wrenching to feel as if I was never good enough.
This along with some other things happening in my life spiraled badly into an eating disorder and a terribly distorted view of myself. It took years for me to look myself in the mirror and see beauty there. I equated beauty with being skinny and I could never be skinny enough. But thankfully, there is a God Who pursues His children’s hearts. He is the God Who created the universe and yet Who still cares about me. Scripture says that He is ENTHRALLED by my beauty. So I honor Him for He is my Lord. {Psalm 45:11} Today I no longer equate beauty with being skinny. I reject the idea that I (or anyone) must look a certain way in order to achieve beauty. And yes, beauty is an inner thing, but I don’t want to be too quick to say that it’s not an outward thing as well. God is an amazing artist and I love how He designed us all so differently. And all so beautifully. Made in His image.
Yeah, that’s me with my handsome husband. His constant encouragement and love have been the most beautiful reflection of how God sees my beauty.
Even though I never pursued modeling, a couple more jobs have landed in my lap since I was a teen. But now I do not let photographers airbrush me. For one thing, I want to be authentic. I don’t want to be just another airbrushed body that adds to the unrealistic standards of beauty in the United States. And for another, I truly believe I am beautiful. Not only inwardly, but also outwardly. That hasn’t always been the case, but I have learned to see past perceived imperfections and acknowledge my beauty. This face God gave me, this body He designed for me – it’s all beautiful. 🙂
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if you want to read more installments in this series, head on over and click on each picture.
every two weeks you’ll get to meet another blogger with another story.
join the movement. <3
Each and every one of these posts touches my heart so deeply. It reminds me to stop speaking hate to my own body. I often feel consumed by the fact I've gained 15+ lbs in less than a year. I often feel like I've failed as a wife already because I haven't kept my body in check. Thanks so much, Amy and Rach, for this reminder. The reminder that God is enthralled by my beauty!
Love this!
Each post has been so encouraging, and a great reminder of what God sees in us and not the world.
Thank you for sharing Rach!
Again, I love the heart of this series SO much!
I can relate to the curly hair thing….it wasn't until like a year ago…that I started becoming comfortable with the hair that God has given me….and my now husband was the biggest help in that, because HE loves it…which is what is really important.
Thanks for being true to yourself girl! You are lovely!
This post is beautiful, and you are beautiful too Rach! Thanks for sharing…your story is awesome. 🙂
Such a beautiful post, Rach and Amy. Thank you for helping to put things into perspective. Rach, your unruly hair is stunning too.
Thanks for hosting me, friend!
RACH, your natural hair is gorgeous!!! I love it so much. You are a true beauty my friend.
Pure beauty!
Absolutely gorgeous, inside and out! Thank you for sharing your story, Rach! xo
what a beautiful post! and as a curly haired gal with a mess of frizz on my head – i can relate to this so much! 🙂
What a lovely post Rach! You are beautiful inside and out and it shows! I appreciate your friendship and I'm so very glad that I found you via the world wide web!
Amy…new follower-thank you for this series! It's such a wonderful thing to see others perspective. Beauty is in all of us! We are all so different and unique!
Ah, Rach, this post is so beautiful!! Your hair is so gorgeous in its natural state (and all the time.) I'm so glad that you can see beauty in yourself now…it really is amazing how the worlds perceptions of beauty make everyone feel inferior, even the people that we all compare ourselves too. So glad that you can see beauty in yourself now…because you are beautiful!
Amy- I'm so excited to look into the rest of this series! It's such a great idea!
Wonderful post Rach! I understand the struggles of curly hair, but I think yours is gorgeous!