oh man, kiki came up with a super hard circle topic for this month!
write a litter to your past self…any past self.
so i started thinking, ooo 8 year old amy was pretty dang fun – let’s chat it up with her and re-climb some trees. then i thought post-college amy was in an interesting transition place with a lot of upheaval and true frustration, but meh…. and so i decided fresh out of high school about to start college amy was where i would go – because i could try to prevent a lot of unnecessary pain and frustration and maybe even add some more spice and fun into the 9 year gap between us.
dear amy…
hey there, it’s so weird writing to you…uh….like 9 years in the future – but i have some things i want to tell you about to help encourage, deter, and motivate you to make the next few years a little different, fulfilling, and less fearful.
so, you’re fresh out of high school and super pumped to start college – i get it, it’s exciting and scary and weird all wrapped into this little bubble. first things first – SOAK UP THIS SUMMER. yeah, spend time with your friends before you all head different directions, enjoy those sleepovers and secrets, laugh at the stupid boys who are weird, and go to the beach – often.
your freshman roomate, sara, will be awesome. don’t be concerned or even worried about y’all getting along. you’re going to have random dance parties, nights of laughing so hard you start crying, weird myspace picture sessions, and lots of fun. sure there will be crushes, breakups, and nights of pain…but overall – freshman year is good and a lot of fun!
but sophomore year, oh man…you’re going to fall hard sophomore year.
you’re going to meet a boy, online, and wander into this little thing called love.
it will end badly, in fact it will crash and burn two years later – but do it anyway.
love him, laugh with him, LISTEN to the guidance God is giving him.
he is going to teach you a lot and point out a lot of bitterness in your life that you’re holding onto…he’s a good dude who has sweet intentions – but make sure you guard your heart. i didn’t and it came back to bite the crap out of me.
set boundaries.
be cautious.
but be open to the experience.
and when he comes back into your life a little while later shut. it. down.
trust me on that – you’re both so incredibly toxic to each other by this point it is just not worth it to even think of trying.
anxiety will happen while you’re in college – it will slam into you like a brick wall.
keep going to counseling, listen to jill, learn and grow and challenge yourself.
go on overnight trips.
stay up late.
laugh with jo + robyn until you’re blue in the face.
go harder on those prank wars with the guys too – they need to feel the full vengeance of a trashcan hurricane like WOAH after putting sardines in your friend’s car.
go to more campus events and dig deep into the friendships God has blessed you with.
you’re going to have some awesome conversations with your new dude crew – youth ministry majors unite!
soak up that time.
dig deep into the Word together and challenge each other and my gosh you will laugh.
you’ll miss the friendships with these guys later – time apart, “adulthood”, and all of them getting married will do that – but you’re not bitter, just a little sad.
when you’re home on breaks and weekends – spend time with your brother.
take him to the movies, go play some soccer, be weird.
embrace the weird.
love the weird.
because you are so weird.
a few more things i want to tell you but don’t dwell on them.
take them for what it is, and then keep smiling and living.
// you won’t be engaged by 21, married by 22, or have kids by 25. and who cares?!
// you will travel out of the country and enjoy it.
// anxiety doesn’t have to control your life.
// walk away from the wide stripes – just walk away.
// spend more time in the prayer room – and nurture your relationship with Jesus.
// color that hair girl, fire engine red is hot on you.
// no, no, no, tell those exes to LEAVE YOU ALONE.
// french fries are not considered a veggie – cut it out.
// you’re going to get stuck in an elevator with 25 people and fall 17 stories – but you’ll be alright 😉
// LOVE YOURSELF.
// ^ which means take care of yourself. go for long walks, start running, find the love in sports.
// find adventure in everything.
// go to stinson manor every night you can with the friend group and LOVE IT.
// you will survive, even when it feels like you won’t.
all of this to say, the next 9 years will be a challenge – but they will also be SO MUCH FUN if you embrace them for what they are and stop living in fear.
God has graced you with this life – so go live it.
oh man, i left out A LOT but you get the gist…it’s been a wild ride.
what would you say to your past self?
