recently i was looking over my stats…and it completely bummed me out.
we all do it – look at our post view counts, our FB and instagram likes, our “unique monthly visitors”.
i looked back over the last year and have seen that i’ve dropped drastically in my readership on posts and instagram.
did i do something wrong?!
is that from lack of posting? (i used to post 5 days a week, now i post about 3)
is it because i’m not creating good content?
is it because i’m trying to compete?
is it because i’m lacking authenticity?
or because people don’t feel they can relate?
or maybe i’m just not their cup of tea anymore…
i’m not sure.
i can admit that i haven’t engaged as much as i used to…with working 40 hours a week at a “day job” and then having nightly commitments throughout the week – it leaves me little time to focus on the lives of bloggers i’ve come to love and call friends – or even search out new bloggers.
and you know what?
it sucks.
i feel like i should be doing better – i should be connecting with people more; and i should be creating more eye-catching and soul-stirring content…because that’s what blogging is for right?!
or is it?
am i writing to please the masses?
or am i writing because i have something to say and i want it to be heard?
when did i start caring about numbers? and why is it bothering me so much now?
i just…ugh….it’s so frustrating.
you’re reading the raw end of this.
it’s 7:09AM on a friday morning and i just read all the numbers – so i’m hurt.
i know i shouldn’t put stock in it, but i do…how could i not?
this blog thing has changed so much and it’s hard to keep up and to navigate the waters without losing your voice.
i don’t know…
how do you deal with the numbers?
like really deal with a drop in numbers?
I KNOW it isn’t all about the quantity of readership but the quality – i know all the right blog things to say, but i need that practical advice for when it just stings.
and right now it just stings…and i’m not saying this for a pity-party, it’s just where i’m at right now.
deep down inside i know that i’m wrestling though the comparison game – which we all do, and i’ve written about it plenty of times before.
who am i comparing myself with?
girls who really hustle their butts off, girls it comes easy to, girls who don’t care about readership?
i don’t want to compare.
i want to encourage, and uplift, and be challenged and challenge others.
maybe i just need to get back to my roots.
be more authentic.
i’m not sure.
what exactly are my roots.
and am i not authentic enough?
i’m just a little blog-lost.
a little dry and frustrated…maybe even a little crusty (i told you, you’re getting the raw end here)
anyone else feeling me?
