Skip to content
  • Home
  • About
  • Photography
  • Blog
  • Work together
  • Shop
    • Shop House Favorites
    • Shop Life Favorites
clear

A Loved Life

Home, Health, & Adventure

Blog/HOME/THOUGHTS

Heart Ramblings & My Home Office

Leave a Comment on Heart Ramblings & My Home Office
,
September 14, 2018

I mentioned yesterday on Instagram that my Thursday morning was just weird.
It started off really great, I was up early, got some house-hold chores done, made a cup of green tea and was ready to soak in some education on a beloved topic, Boudoir Photography. The call was entitled 8 Tips for ……… and I had my webinar / education notebook out with the date & title written and my mind was ready to go. The speaker said it would be a 45 minute webinar; an HOUR later she still hadn’t gotten to the tips. It had been all about her pitching her business, which sounds amazing but is way out of my price range, and when someone asked when she would get to the tips she explained that they were IN her class that you would have to pay for, which was why she was doing this whole webinar to sell you on the class.

To say I was frustrated would be an understatement.

I just spent an hour of my morning hoping to be educated and left feeling like I wasn’t good in my businesses and that I didn’t learn anything new. I then proceeded to spiral down this long rabbit hole of well why am I even still blogging or taking photos, I hardly get paid for either. I actually recently posted about this and that feeling is STILL lurking around. I’ve been blogging for about 8 years, longer if you count xanga, live journal, etc (YEAH!), so you could say I’m seasoned. I was here before the big boom when becoming an influencer meant a paycheck and it was all about your instagram following, your google analytics, and if you were the “right fit for a brand”. I was here when it really was community over competition and you made real friends and had real conversations about your life and your struggles – one of the main reasons I brought back the ETSY SWAP (**sign ups close tomorrow!**) – I love the rawness and community that comes with blogging.

Yet I found myself messaging Meg that I don’t even know why I do this anymore.
I feel this pressure to make money with blogging, and sometimes I do but it isn’t daily, or even monthly. I feel this push to make money with my photography, and again sometimes I do! Yet with all the moving we’ve been doing, my focus shifts away from the businesses and to my life, as it should, yet my numbers drop, I loose clients, and I’m left feeling like why should I even pick it back up. Yet here I am, on a Friday morning typing out my heart to let you know I don’t have it all together. Working on the back-end of my new photography website that I hope to finally hit publish on this weekend because it’s going to be so dang pretty. I still have a notebook full of blog post ideas and find myself reading blogs and playing catch up while binge watching TV at night with my husband. The passion is still there.

Yet, as I was telling Meg, I feel this pressure to make money. In fact what I actually said was “Not having a “real job bringing in money” has made me feel very small and insignificant and stupid.” OOPHF  I feel so privileged to say that and then I feel even worse saying that. It’s this vicious cycle. I’ve had a job since I was 15, worked as a life guard, then a receptionist, then a receptionist and in retail, then retail and youth ministry, then youth ministry and another reception job, then a more corporate demanding job all while still blogging / doing photography on the side. When Eddie and I got married and I moved away to Maine in the middle of winter I didn’t look for a job, I was there 4 months and no one was really hiring during the winter season. We moved to Connecticut because of a Navy schedule change and I was only there for a few months before up and moving again. Since getting to San Diego there have been EVEN MORE changes and while yes, I could have gotten a part time job but the cons outweighed the pros. So I sit here and take care of our home, cook the meals, do the cleaning, and try to pursue these passions that I have. Yet my numbers don’t change, clients aren’t in the hundreds, and I’m told that makes me not relevant or a good candidate for xyz. I get that I should just let it roll of my back, but right now, RIGHT NOW, I’m struggling. I have so much joy for those who are succeeding; for my friends who work tirelessly and are reaping the rewards of their work. I’m happy for those who start and have instant organic growth, that’s huge and shows that it was the right step for you! I just find myself sometimes whispering in the quiet, well, why not me?

We all have those why not me moments – no matter if it’s in business, love, children, sorrow, joy…we all have moments of comparison and envy. It’s a human emotion, not a good one, but it’s there. WHEW. I just took a nice big deep breath and just writing all of this out has me feeling so much better. HA. I probably sound a little crazy, venting all of that out, and now saying I feel lighter. I still feel what I wrote up there, but expressing it feels good too. I guess it’s good to just step back and remember that we’re not going to have it all together.


PS – I wanted to share a glimpse into my little home office.
It’s pretty crowded in here but it gets the job done and I love having a space I can come into and be in “work mode” and attempt to cross off all of my to-dos. I even took a little bit of time and cleaned it up for these photos! What you don’t see (aka what’s in the hallway) is my extra printer box, this one just died and I haven’t replaced it, my poshmark clothes to sell box, and then random stacks of papers I don’t know what to do with.

Curtains – World Market (similar)
Dresser – IKEA
Desk – My grandma’s old entry table
Work Bench – Eddie built
Chalk Board – Eddie built


Share this:

  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)

Related

Blog, home, home office, san diego home, thoughts
By:amurray

Hi, I'm amurray

Post navigation

Previous postHurricane Emergency Supply List & Tips
Next postMy Weekend

Related Posts

thoughts | you are enough…
blog | the numbers game
thoughts | welcoming
author

Hello Friends

I'm Amy and I am so blissed out that you are here. To sum up A Loved Life in three words it would simply be: home, health, and adventure. So if you enjoy laughter, hope, adventures, and pursuing life to the fullest - this place is for you. Please feel free to read along as I share all about this crazy thing called life.

Recent Posts

Life Audit 2020

No comments

Guest Bathroom Refresh

No comments

Bent Towards Gratitude

No comments

Follow on Facebook!

Categories

  • Beach House
  • Blog
  • COLLABORATIONS / REVIEWS
  • ETSY
  • FAITH
  • Fiction
  • Friday Finds
  • Halloween
  • HOME
  • Life
  • LIVING WELL
  • Military
  • Monthly Goals
  • PHOTOGRAPHY
  • Recipe
  • RELATIONSHIPS
  • STYLE
  • THOUGHTS
  • TRAVEL
  • Uncategorized
  • WEDDING

Tags

15 day challenge birthday Blog bo brother california charleston Christian Christianity Christmas collaboration currently decorating DIY etsy Family fiction fitness frankly friday friday God halloween home ireland journey links marriage Master Bedroom monthly goals my style my weekend October Photography pinterest recipe relationships review scotland scripture thoughts tobi travel vacation weight loss writing
🍁🍂 FALL GIVEAWAY 🍁🍂 Y'all know I love 🍁🍂 FALL GIVEAWAY 🍁🍂

Y'all know I love this season! Cooler temps, bonfires, sweet treats, and the urge for a new book to dive into! I wanted to do a fun little giveaway to help brighten your season! 

Here's how to enter: 
⋒ Like this post 
⋒ Follow me 
⋒ Comment below and tell me your favorite fall dessert 
⋒ Tag 1 friend who is also obsessed with fall. (each additional tag is an extra entry)

ᕱ BONUS ENTRY: 
Share this post to your stories and tag me so I can see! ((If you have a private account make sure you screenshot it and DM it to me))

That's all y'all! Best of luck!
🍂🍁

ᕱ Giveaway ends Tuesday night & the winner will be announced Wednesday here and in my stories!
ᕱ This giveaway is not sponsored or affiliated with instagram.
I really do love seeing all the Halloween decorati I really do love seeing all the Halloween decorations in our home...it is just is so nice to have a little extra reminder of the seasons passing. 🎃

That being said these bad boy decorations will be taken down before Halloween this year (WAHHH) because we're getting our floors re-done. If you saw my stories a little while back we had another flooding situation in the downstairs closet so that's also meaning we're getting the floors refinished. 🤦‍♀️

So send me some prayers because we have to packup/move three rooms of our house to prepare in the next few weeks! 
.
.
.
.
.
#alovedlife #halloween #halloweendecor #halloweendecorations #halloweendecorating #halloweenlife #allhallowseve #october #spookyseason #spooky #instahalloween #everydayishalloween #trickortreat #fall #livethelittlethings #collectivelycreate #documentyourdays #thatauthenticfeeling #momentslikethese #charlestonblogger #charlestonbloggers #charleston #holdersnotfolders
Soooooooo today's my birthday 🥳 Another year Soooooooo today's my birthday 🥳 

Another year around the sun and another birthday advice post up on the blog ((link in profile). This is seriously one of my favorite posts to write each year. 

On the docket today: a few friends swung by for a hello, doing some work, and going over the my aunt & uncles for dinner. I'm super thankful to be with Eddie this year and have time together with him and the kitties.

Speaking of kitties, I swear Loki exists he is just camera shy so Shadow is in 90% of the photos. 

.
.
.
.
#alovedlife #fall #autumn  #halloween #fallisintheair #birthdayadvice #ohhey #october #spookyseason #spooky #instahalloween #everydayishalloween #trickortreat #fall #livethelittlethings #collectivelycreate #documentyourdays #thatauthenticfeeling #momentslikethese #charlestonblogger #charlestonbloggers #charleston #holdersnotfolders
These little babes are obsessed with the pumpkins These little babes are obsessed with the pumpkins on the stairs and I often find them chewing on their faux stems. 

🎃🐱

Seriously, aren't they the cutest?!

.
.
.
.
.
#alovedlife #movie #halloweentown #halloween #halloweendecor #halloweendecorations #halloweendecorating #halloweenlife #allhallowseve #october #spookyseason #spooky #instahalloween #everydayishalloween #trickortreat #fall #livethelittlethings #collectivelycreate #documentyourdays #thatauthenticfeeling #momentslikethese #charlestonblogger #charlestonbloggers #charleston #holdersnotfolders
🖤 SPOOKY SEASON IS HERE! 🖤 Which means it's 🖤 SPOOKY SEASON IS HERE! 🖤
Which means it's time to start watching some fun Halloween movies!

I'm not the biggest scary / gory movie fan so I've compiled a list of some of my favorite movies & tv shows to watch during October all up on the blog today!

Click on over to see if some of your favorites are on the list and tell me below what you love watching this season! 
.
.
.
.
.
#alovedlife #halloween #halloweendecor #halloweendecorations #halloweendecorating #halloweenlife #allhallowseve #october #spookyseason #spooky #instahalloween #everydayishalloween #trickortreat #fall #livethelittlethings #collectivelycreate #documentyourdays #thatauthenticfeeling #momentslikethese #charlestonblogger #charlestonbloggers #charleston #holdersnotfolders
Oliver is over here just living his best life. 🖤

This morning may not have gone as planned but I still managed to make the best of it by getting a walk in downtown and grabbing a cup of coffee from the place @mountain_ed and I had our first date.

Also, anyone else just feeling fall so much this year?!
.
.
.
.
.
#alovedlife #movie #halloweentown #halloween #halloweendecor #halloweendecorations #halloweendecorating #halloweenlife #allhallowseve #october #spookyseason #spooky #instahalloween #everydayishalloween #trickortreat #fall #livethelittlethings #collectivelycreate #documentyourdays #thatauthenticfeeling #momentslikethese #charlestonblogger #charlestonbloggers #charleston #holdersnotfolders
Is it Tuesday? Yes, yes it is. It's a hazy rainy Is it Tuesday? Yes, yes it is. 

It's a hazy rainy morning in Charleston today and I'm not going to lie I'm hardcore loving it. All that's missing is a cooler temperature and a mountain view...but i"ll take my little browning leaves peek of yellow attempting to show that fall color.

What's on your to-do list today? For me...responding to emails, getting quotes out, doing my part time job, and hunting for a client wardrobe piece WHILE MAYBE getting a table off of facebook marketplace . . . so coffee was in order.
.
.
.
.
.
#alovedlife #fall #autumn  #halloween #halloweendecor #halloweendecorations #halloweendecorating #halloweenlife #allhallowseve #october #spookyseason #spooky #instahalloween #everydayishalloween #trickortreat #fall #livethelittlethings #collectivelycreate #documentyourdays #thatauthenticfeeling #momentslikethese #charlestonblogger #charlestonbloggers #charleston #holdersnotfolders
It's MONDAY which means I'll share some joy by pos It's MONDAY which means I'll share some joy by posting my indoor Halloween decorations up on the blog (link in profile). 

🎃

If you're a Halloween celebrator have you started (or already finished like me) your decorating? I wanna see the goooodddssssss!
.
.
.
.
.
#alovedlife #halloween #halloweendecor #halloweendecorations #halloweendecorating #halloweenlife #allhallowseve #october #spookyseason #spooky #instahalloween #everydayishalloween #trickortreat #fall #livethelittlethings #collectivelycreate #documentyourdays #thatauthenticfeeling #momentslikethese #charlestonblogger #charlestonbloggers #charleston #holdersnotfolders
This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: API requests are being delayed for this account. New posts will not be retrieved.

Log in as an administrator and view the Instagram Feed settings page for more details.

Facebook
instagram
pinterest
chloe theme