Self reflection is something I find to be incredibly cathartic. For as long as I can remember I have always kept a journal of sorts to work through my thoughts/feelings/dreams/goals in each season of my life. There is a simple peace that comes with cracking your heart open and spilling it onto pages.
The last few months I’ve found myself thinking more about what this year will hold for myself, for my marriage, for my relationships. Eddie will be deploying this year which means a whole world of change for us individually as well as together. I joke with him all the time how dependent he has made me, and how frustrating it is. 😉
Getting married in my late twenties meant that I was self-sufficient and dependable solely on myself in most occasions. I paid my own bills, made meals for myself, was responsible if something broke in the house, and really just had to figure everything out.
Since getting married I’ve learned how beautiful the partnership of a help mate is; and with that beauty comes a level of dependency I found to be very foreign.
Which brings me to my word for 2019.
Endurance: the ability to withstand hardship or adversity: the ability to sustain a prolonged stressful effort or activity; the act or an instance of enduring or suffering.
I truly am a planner and find something so thrilling about setting goals (y’all know I love my to-do lists!). So when I found the time to sit down and do some soul searching on what all I hope to accomplish in this next year I kept seeing how much endurance it was going to take.
The unknown can be scary.
Exciting yes, but also a smidge terrifying. I’m really unsure of what all this year will hold and when I stop and process it I can find myself getting a little overwhelmed. Possibly months on end of little to no communication with my husband, getting a job after solely doing photography/blogging for the last 2 years, meeting new friends, exploring my hometown with fresh eyes, making our house a home, getting involved in things I’m passionate about. We also just embarked on another HUGE journey that I’ll be sharing about soon (NO I AM NOT PREGNANT!).
Endurance is exactly what I need to say to myself.
Endure the pain. Endure the fear. Endure the unknown. Endure the challenge. Endure WITH JOY.
That’s the two-fold part of my word of the year.
I want to face the challenges with joy. I want to come out of this season of life with joy in my spirit, encouragement on my lips, and positivity in my mind. This negative space I’ve been allowing myself to wallow in just doesn’t feel good anymore, so change is coming!
What are you hoping to see yourself accomplish this year?
I sincerely want to know and chat about it so leave a comment below telling me all about what 2019 is looking life for you.