It’s that time of year again friends! It’s my 31st Birthday and that means it’s time for my yearly Birthday Advice post! This became a tradition a few years back and I have really enjoyed writing these posts each time it rolls around. It’s an accumulation of some of the lessons I’ve walked through over the last year, or few years, and I truly love being reflective. Thirty was a great year for me. It was a hard year, but a really good year.
Age 30 brought clarity on who I am and what I value as a woman.
It involved closing a lot of chapters with saying goodbye to friends, Tobi, and San Diego. It held countless nights away from my husband as Eddie was working up towards and finally deploying. It meant limited to zero contact with my main squeeze with only a sporadic email for communication for what seemed like an eternity. It brought moving back home to Charleston where I was able to reconnect with family and some friends. I was able to live in our house and start making it a home. I started a new job, met new people, and am learning more and more as each day passes. Thirty was really a great launch into this next decade and I’m excited to see what thirty-one holds!
LIFE ADVICE
1 || Invest in the right places.
2 || Be intentional in your finances.
3 || Stand by what you believe.
1 || Invest in the right places.
You’re going to be pulled in many directions as the years go on. You’re going to be told a lot of things, commit to this project, cross these 5 things off of your to-do list, volunteer here, buy this, go here for the best xyz . . . and it just continues on. There is nothing wrong with any of those situations, but it’s all about learning what is going to not only bring you joy but what will align with what you believe and where you’re wanting to grow in life. Invest in the right people, the right commitments, the right growth. What does “the right” look like to you? It can ebb and flow as life goes, but take some time to reflect today and see where all your time and energy is going.
Personally….
This looks like friendships, Jesus time, intentional conversations with Eddie, going for walks, working out, making a new meal…it looks like a lot of things! The busier my schedule gets the more I find myself picking and choosing what will bring good into my life vs what will add more negative to it. I’ve been walking through a culling season and have really honed in on things that were bringing me to a place I didn’t like. It was beyond tough to realize some of the things I was being drained of and not getting poured back into so it was time to let it go and y’all letting go is tough. Yet through the ugly, the hard, the challenging – new growth appears and I’ve begun to re-discover where I am thriving and that’s where I need to be investing.
2 || Be intentional in your finances.
It’s SO EASY to just spend without thinking. Take some time and make a true budget – write bills / services / subscriptions you have going out every month and then write what you’re bringing in. Take a long hard look at those numbers and then set some financial goals. Pay off a debt, save for a home project or a trip, put money aside for retirement / medical / emergencies and then start taking steps towards making your budget reflect those goals. It may mean sacrificing something that is a luxury, picking up a 2nd job, or saying no to spending with friends for a while. Money is money and while it doesn’t need to rule your life it does play a large roll in it so be wise and intentional in your spending and saving. My grandfather always told me that if I didn’t know where my money was going to save my receipts for EVERYTHING for a whole month, sit down with them, and then really get an eye-full of where I’m investing my money in.
Personally…
Eddie and I have had a lot of unexpected financial hurtles come our way this year (hello brand new downstairs HVAC & Ductwork and we still need to do upstairs) and it’s been tough to swallow. I’ve also, honestly, become a little frivolous in my spending than how I normally am when I’m sticking to a budget. We just had a conversation last night about the financial things we have coming up AND the goals we want to shoot for so it’s time to re-adjust our budget and track purchases!
3 || Stand by what you believe.
Y’all this world is crazy. Good crazy, bad crazy, scary crazy, confusing crazy, lovely crazy. It will pull you all over the place, drag you down a flight of stairs, prop you up, question you, laugh with you, slap you, hug you. . . you just really don’t know what you’re going to get. SO KNOW WHO YOU ARE AND WHAT YOU BELIEVE. Your faith, your character, your convictions – those are the constant that can stand firm while everything else spins. Open up books, have conversations, LISTEN, and learn. Grow, challenge, and then stand up and stand by where your convictions lead. Don’t waver.
Personally…
This. Has. Been. Tough. For. Me. To. Learn.
This may come as a surprise for some but the truth is, I’ve struggled with being a people pleaser for a long time. Now don’t get me wrong I am strong back-boned, stubborn, and can be downright bull-headed; but I am still easily stung, hurt and can bend towards those I love, which isn’t always a good thing. I can let someone that I care for treat me like crap because I love them. I can put something I feel strongly about on the back burner because I don’t always want to rock the boat. Well, I guess I can more accurately say I USED to really do those things. For the most part I’ve really grown into this woman who, as kindly as possible, speaks her mind and stands by her convictions. It’s easy, so easy, to be swayed by the popular vote/opinion/trend but it’s so much harder when it doesn’t align with what you believe.
Some stuff from the last year…
// We had to put down my sweet little man Tobi and I still miss him every single day. 13 1/2 years is a long time with a pet and he was the best.
// I shared my thoughts on when we will have children.
// Sharing that military spouse life thoughts.
// We bought into our family beach house, Ocean Shade, and I still can’t believe it!
// I fell in love with our sunroom the minute we saw the pictures of the house when we were thinking of buying it. Now that it’s ours I’ve been putting my stamp on it! I actually need to do an update on this room as more plants have made their way in and the vibe has changed some!
