I’m writing this while I’m currently 17 weeks pregnant. Blogging just hasn’t been at the top of my list of life lately and I think a part of it comes from the pandemic and not really having much to say and each day feeling pretty much like the last. I do want to document this season of life so here I am trying to write out some things for my memory bank later on. If this isn’t your jam, I GET IT. Please know that I won’t hold it against you if you skip reading.
(( I do want to pause here and say that if you are in a season of waiting, struggling, frustration, anger, bitterness, resentment, and sorrow over trying to get pregnant, in the midst of a pregnancy loss please know that I am truly praying for you. I do not know your pain but I want to hold you and hug you and listen to your frustrations. ))
MY PREGNANCY JOURNEY
I actually learned SO MUCH about tracking my cycle from this book that was actually introduced to me by a sweet friend. I’ve always tracked my period but never fully understood the length of my cycle or how my body reacted in each stage (or heck that there were stages outside of ovulation and bleeding haha). Whether you are actively trying to get pregnant, thinking of pregnancy, or simply a woman with a cycle I HIGHLY recommend getting this book and reading it. It was liberating to learn more about my body and how it works and why it does certain things.
Once I started naturally tracking my cycle and what all that entails we ended up (miraculously) getting pregnant rather quickly, I think 3 months (aka three tying times) and I was pregnant.
I honestly found out REALLY early, like 4 days before my missed period early on January 4, 2021. I was having crazy weird symptoms of feeling super emotional, tired more frequently, random hot flashes, cramping in my lower abdomen whenever I stood up, and then I felt like I was getting either a UTI or yeast infection.
I had a few of the blue line pregnancy tests last home and I took one in the early morning and there was a FAINT second line. I sort of freaked out with thinking “OH MY GOSH I AM PREGNANT” and then thought to myself well it’s only a faint line so it may not be correct, plus I’m way before my period. I went downstairs and did a quick 15 minute workout then found myself sitting on the floor googling faint blue lines. I decided to get in the car and go to CVS and get the pink line tests (apparently more accurate) and the one that says yes or no. I took the pink line one first and it it was 2 solid dark pink lines, I then took the other one and it said yes. I promptly fell to my knees crying and mumbling incoherent words and started praying for a healthy baby and thanks to God. It was such an overwhelming feeling.
I laid on the couch that night, dying to tell Eddie but wanting to me sure. Being SO EARLY finding out I wasn’t sure if it was real and I didn’t want to be wrong. The next day I went to the walk in clinic on base and they did a urine test and then called me back and told me it was negative. I remember my stomach sinking and feeling so defeated, the nurse told me that happened to her but for me to come back in a few days and ask for a blood test to make fully sure (she said sometimes urine tests at the doctor office don’t always pick up the hormones, which was crazy because my at home tests were!). Then another nurse popped her head in and said “Hey, there actually isn’t a wait if you want to go do the blood test now” . . .y’all know I JUMPED on that! They drew my blood and told me they would call me within the hour to let me know the results. I left the office and ran to the grocery store and on my way home they called and told me that I am in fact pregnant, the test was positive! I just remember feeling so excited, scared, overwhelmed, and READY to tell Eddie.
HOW I TOLD EDDIE
Well, this was actually a really surreal moment. I have it on video but bless, Eddie is in his boxers so that will just stay for us and not putting it all out there for the world to see. I ordered this shirt in advance in case this all ended up working out and I ended up pregnant. When he came home from work the day I found out for sure I told him I had a surprise for him and he sat on the bed when I handed him a box making it seem like it was a late Christmas present / early birthday present. I told him I worked really hard on it and waited with ALL of these emotions building within while he opened the box. He opened the box and read the words on the shirt: My jokes are officially Dad jokes. He looked up and me and jumped off the bed and we hugged and cried together hardly believing this was happening. It was truly a special moment together. Realizing we were going to be PARENTS is just, well, it’s hard to explain.
SYMPTOMS & SOLUTIONS
Morning Sickness – Thankfully my first trimester was a lot less scary than I was preparing myself for. I was terrified (literally terrified) of morning sickness and what that could look like. I’ve had some incredible moments of true queasiness and nausea but have not thrown up yet and praying it stays that way. There have been moments where out of no where I get slapped by a smell and immediately feel like I may puke but for the most part It’s just a few long days of nausea. I have found that eating often (and especially crackers) helps to keep the nausea under more control. I also bought some pregnancy bands for the pressure points on my wrists. I also purchased this book and found the nausea water & nausea essential oil diffuser blend to be helpful.
Fatigue – Yeahhhhhhh this one is real. I’ve never been a napper but found myself WANTING to nap (still didn’t actually nap during my first trimester). I found getting out of bed at my normal time was increasingly difficult which is not my normal get up and go mentality. I slept in a little more and found myself sitting on the couch to relax more.
Cravings – Well if I’m honest this didn’t change from my day to day cravings (aka carbs and sweets haha). However I DID crave some orange juice, I’m talking that boujie orange juice from Whole Foods that is hella expensive and squeeze straight from little cute oranges.
Gas – Legit y’all. Gas increase is for real. . . REAL. Just keeping it honest friends.
I’m honestly really excited but also super scared. I’m scared of labor (I’ll get to that in a second), of raising a child and being responsible of another life. I’ve said a few different times in this space that I was never the type of woman who grew up KNOWING she wanted to be a mother. I love children and had a desire to raise one but was never fully 100% set on having children. Then after a lot of prayer and reflection I knew that I personally didn’t want to go on through life with the question of “what if” and that I wanted to take away the fact that I was preventing by taking birth control. Now that I’m here I find myself excited for all of the small things to do with a child – seeing Jesus through their eyes, teaching them how to love others, watching them explore, seeing things as magical again. I’m also filled with worry of them getting sick, not being there for them enough, etc. I know I don’t need to live in this place of “what if fears” but sometimes my mind just settles in there longer than I would like.
This also doesn’t feel real. The first trimester is full of A LOT of body changes, weird emotions, and lots of unknowns. The first sonogram confirming I was pregnant and seeing our TINY little baby at 8 weeks was surreal and in the moment I was completely overwhelmed and later that night I stared at that photo wondering if it was all real. It’s been a lot of praying for the baby to be strong and healthy and waiting for the next doctors appointment to see if everything is ok.
Fear or labor – This is one I’ve found a lot of women have had / currently have / will have. Truth be told the American media has done a really phenomenal job of painting the picture in movies/books/tv shows/etc that giving birth will be the most painful/horrible and scary moment of your life. The constant screaming, never ending pain, and the terrifying fear that is portrayed is awful and sticks with you. I’ve found that education on how to work WITH your body during labor is really lacking / you have to dig for it. I’m working on educating myself on how my body was created and designed to do this and learning how to train my mind to work with contractions/etc.
PURCHASES SO FAR
An absolute must have for me were these B6 vitamin melts. They are suppose to help with some nausea / queasiness and they also taste great while providing good things for your body! Since we’re on the vitamin train I tried a few different prenatals and landed on the Rainbow Light Prenatal Daily Duo with DHA (2 pills) and I take them at night and have had zero adverse reactions since. I also found out that my vitamin D was low so I’ve been taking these NatureWise Vitamin D3 pills with my prenatal and it’s been helping!
This 8 sheep organic sleepy time lotion – This is a magnesium based lotion was a game changer for some sore muscles and helping me sleep a little deeper. It’s supposed to also help with muscle spasms (like charlie horses in your calves!). I love it and it smells so good (I got the lavender)
I purchased this “Dear Baby” pregnancy journal book. I’ll admit I was really great at it in the beginning and have recently slacked of writing more in it.
These pregnancy prayer cards are really beautiful and a great way to pray for your baby each week of your pregnancy. I would say to put them in a place where you can see them / change them often. I haven’t used them as often as I would have liked.
I definitely purchased a pregnancy pillow because I was told by everyone I would need it. I tried using it earlier and it just wasn’t necessary yet. NOW in my second trimester I’m definitely using it more often. I don’t like having to crawl out of it every time I have to pee (#firstworldproblems).
For the baby (especially not knowing the gender) I wanted to get a few things because I was just too excited so I grabbed some gender neutral items: this bear two piece lounge set, these leggings, this laundry hamper, & the most adorable bunny towel ever.