Time for another Frankly Friday!
What is Frankly Friday?
Let’s define Frankly shall we…
frankly |หfra ng klฤ|adverb
in an open, honest, and direct manner
. . .
I want this to be a way for all of us to be open, raw, and transparent with not only each other…but with ourselves. I think we put a lot of stock into the “fear” of what others may think of us…into the “fear” of really putting what’s on your heart out there in case someone decides to tear you down.
I’m over the fear & you should be too.
So let’s write…whether it’s about a situation you’re struggling through, a victory you’ve made, a memory that you can’t let go of…anything as long as it’s honest.
. . .
I’ve debated about post this….but then thought hey it’s my blog i can say what i want :).
I love fashion.
Seriously
I know that if you were to meet me on a Saturday around town you probably wouldn’t think so; mostly because i’ll be wearing shorts and a t-shirt.
But, i do love fashion.
You see i’m what we would call “plus-sized” i wear an average 16-18.
Let me go ahead and make a few things clear:
Am i responsible for getting myself to this size? Yes.
Do i recognize that my weight is unhealthy? Yes.
Am i working on getting my weight under control? Yes and YES!
{I work out with a trainer, do at home work outs, and am making healthier food decisions}
Do i realize that this will be a process and not something that will happen overnight? Yes.
Do i want to be a stick? No. I like my curves.
With all of that being said.
I get very very very frustrated when shopping for clothes.
You see, if you didn’t already know, I live in Charleston SC.
We are KNOWN for our history, beautiful places, hospitality, and shopping.
King street alone has more stores than i can count that offer (sometimes overly expensive) some of the cutest out fits available. Granted i normally shop at Target…but i like to pop into the stores downtown and try things on stare at the pretty outfits.
One of my favorite stores that we have is Forever 21
Seriously, i love that place! They have some of the cutest accessories, bags, shoes, and clothing!
Here is the store:
The Forever 21 space takes up most of that ground floor.
Obviously, it’s a rather large store!
When they first opened they had hmmm…maybe a 20% space for their “plus-size” line.
It wasn’t a large space…but it allowed me to feel like i belong in the store, like i was accepted and I could get some cute, fashionable outfits along with the rest of the female population.
Well i was on my lunch break recently and decided to pop into the store because i needed a cute dress for an event i was going to. I felt good about the trip, i was down 10lbs feeling confident, and really looking forward to spending some of the money i had saved for this occasion.
What happened when i went in?
I couldn’t find the plus size section…at all.
I left the store and called my roommate frustrated and telling her how upsetting it is to not be able to buy clothing and how i hated myself for getting myself to this point. She encouraged me to go check Gap, francesca’s, urban outfitters, and a few other places that were on King.
So i went…and found nothing.
The XL’s that i did find…weren’t even close to a real xl.
I called her back on the brink of tears because i was so dang frustrated.
She said, “go back to forever 21 and ask them what happened to their plus-sized line” so i went back ready to ask and then decided to walk the store again to make sure i hadn’t overlooked it.
I found it.
In a small, very small corner of the store.
Let me put this into perspective for you.
80% of their store is for i guess what they consider the average woman, maybe 10% of it is for the accessories and shoes, 8% for their men’s line, and yes..a whopping 2% for the “plus-sized line.
What did they have available?
A small selection of jeans, a few selections of tops, maybe three dresses to choose from, and that is it.
I had more clothing in my closet at home then they had in the store that i could buy.
Maybe you’re thinking “Amy you sound like a selfish brat, get over it” or “Amy, so you say you’re overweight, fix it…stop crying because clothes don’t fit you”. Listen i’ve said the same thing to myself.
But loosing weight is not an easy task.
PERIOD.
But i’m working on it…seriously committed to it, and slowly seeing results.
I work at a job that requires me to be business professional/business casual.
I can’t wear comfy jeans to work with a t-shirt.
I have to look for dresses, dress slacks, nice shoes, cute/professional tops.
Do you know who carries those clothing? Lane Bryant. Do you know how much a pair of pants average from there? $40-$60. Yes. They are expensive.
Torrid (which is a plus size store) is over 4 hours away.
So when i shop anywhere it takes me hours to find something that a. fits b. looks cute and c. is ‘in style’.
When i go shopping with one of my girlfriends (who i would totally steal her wardrobe if i was her size, so cute!) she is able to walk into any store and purchase something.
Sigh.
Listen i’m not here to promote “fat” or “un-healthy” lifestyles. Far from it! If you’re unhealthy get yourself in a gym and start eating better food. Find a form of exercise you enjoy and challenge yourself because you are stronger than you think!
I just wish that while i’m on this journey of loosing weight and i’m still considered “plus-size” in the process…i would be able to go into some of the larger named stores (Target included) and feel like a regular woman. I would like to be able to buy some clothes that are cute and flattering on me that don’t cost me an arm and a leg because they are labeled ‘plus-sized’. {Some stores have a regular size let’s say marked at $25…the same dress in a plus-size? $30}
True story:
We just had a new company move into the office next to ours.
Beautiful women who appear to be very nice, ranging probably from size 0 – maybe a 10 (that is the ‘largest’ i’ve seen). Their clothing, so cute! I see them, smile and sometimes say a “hello” and the response i get…continues to catch me off guard and makes me feel like i’m back in high school.
I’ve caught a few of these women giving me “the eye”; you know what i’m i’m talking about ladies…the one that says “why can’t she just go to the gym” or “wow looks like she doesn’t have style”…and it belittles me. I know i shouldn’t care what others think, but sometimes i do.
Sometimes i just want to wake up in the morning and feel as beautiful as people tell me i am.
So there is my rant.
I wasn’t trying to offend anyone, so if for some reason you were i’m sorry.
I just get frustrated that i can’t buy cute clothing.
Blah.
If you wrote a post that was frank this week, don’t forget to link up!
I don't think there was anything offensive in this post.
And seriously… I think you are super crazy beautiful! When you did the vlogs a while back… I just found myself staring at you haha. Not in a creepish kind of way but it really just allowed us reader to see YOU and you are beyond beautiful!
As for clothes shopping… I hate it. Despise it. I'm thankful that I'm a stay at home mom that can wear jeans and tshirts all the time because I just hate trying to find clothes I like that are modest and in a price range I'm willing to pay. Too bad Adam and Eve had to be so stupid… had they not we might not have to be worrying about clothes today. ๐
Amy I love your honesty!!! Clothes shopping today is soooo frustrating because so many of the clothes are just PIECES and not proper articles….Add to that stores only carrying a small range of sizes and I can totally see why it is so difficult!
Keep up the hard work! All I can say is, those ladies clearly have their own issues. I don't care if you were a bum that hung out outside the office, that is just rude! As usual, I see a mission field! Let us know what becomes of it!!!
I think this was a very well-written post. The sad fact is that some women (I'm not saying you are one of them) do have NATURALLY thick bodies – it doesn't mean that they can't get rid of some fat, but some will always have to wear larger sizes because of the way their body is built.
I hate how so many magazines and other media are spreading the "love yourself" message, yet they still show nothing but skinny, anorexic-looking girls.
I'm currently between a pant size 6 and 8 (size 8 jeans are too big, but I can't fit into size 6)…even I can be considered fat by society's standards!
I love Forever 21 too! You can get so much cute stuff there for not much money!
I feel you on this one girl, I really do. I think it's way too often that we (that's me, too!) look at people and make assumptions based on outer appearances without taking a moment to consider all of the what if's in life. Like the possibilities that people are sick, or are trying to lost weight, or just got some bad news and so that's why they're out and about in their pajamas. Anyway, I just had to tell you that I love your boldness, your heart, and your passion for this. It's amazing and something I hope lots and lots of lady bloggers/blog readers read! ๐
Oh my goodness, I can't believe those women would act that way. Well, I take that back… sadly, I CAN believe it. You would think that we would all grow up when we leave high school, but there is something about some women that make them want to feel superior to others. Whether it's in smarts, size, fashion, looks, etc. In a world where we are already so fragile and self esteem is so shaky, I hate that women can't rally around each other to support each other. Why do we have to belittle and tear each other down? This is something I'm actually really passionate about. The group of girls I work with have heard me go off on a rant more than once when I hear someone calling themselves "fat" (or any other derivative of that). My voice may not be the loudest one out there, but at least I'm speaking up. Anyway, sorry, rant over, ha!
As for the clothes… I'm sorry about the frustration you deal with. When we lived in China, I had a terrible time finding clothes that fit. My 5'8 Caucasian body with curves did not fit in many of the clothes there. I am definitely no waif-like figure. Anyway, I remember feeling some of the same frustrations you are describing here. But at least I had a sense of relief when I moved to the States and realized that there were in fact clothes that would fit my goliath-height and curves. ๐
ps. Sorry this comment is so crazy long.
pps. The end.
Ugh that's so frustrating! I hate that those women make you feel anything less than amazing.
Girl, don't apologize for your honest thoughts!! Finding clothes that fit can be seriously frustrating! I am so sorry about those girls, maybe they have rough jobs and are cranky alllll the time? Kill them with kindness, don't let them get you down. One day they might surprise you. ๐