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A Loved Life

Home, Health, & Adventure

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Frankly Friday…v2

7 Comments on Frankly Friday…v2
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September 7, 2012February 16, 2017
Welcome to the second edition of Frankly Friday! 

What is Frankly Friday? 

Let’s define Frankly shall we…

frankly |ˈfra ng klē|adverbin an open, honest, and direct manner
. . .
I want this to be a way for all of us to be open, raw, and transparent with not only each other…but with ourselves. I think we put a lot of stock into the “fear” of what others may think of us…into the “fear” of really putting what’s on your heart out there in case someone decides to tear you down.
I’m over the fear & you should be too.
So let’s write…whether it’s about a situation you’re struggling through, a victory you’ve made, a memory that you can’t let go of…anything as long as it’s honest.
. . .

Last week i talked about holding onto my past in attempt to make me feel whole. 

I just want to say, thank you for all of your incredible encouragement. I was blown away by the heartfelt messages and sincere responses i received. Y’all made me cry :). THIS is what i wanted Frankly Friday to be about; a place for people to come together, be honest and be supportive…YAY. 

. . .

Let’s get down to what’s going on in my life. 

here. 

This is one of my favorite worship songs.

I’ve become very aware in the last few months how incredibly not good i am. 

I know, i know we all have our off days, but sincerely i’m sometimes just really, really sinful. I can be angry, selfish, greedy, lustful, brash, hateful, and {insert any other adjective here}.

There are days when i’m just completely numb to the fact that my relationship with my Creator is just…meh. 

When did i become this way? 

When did i loose the sparkle in my eye, the joy in my heart, and the calmness in my voice?

When did i allow Satan to triumph over the very essence of my being? 

It’s like i’ve been walking around empty…bone dry; as if i’m in the dead of winter surrounded by frigid cold and so desperately wanting to be a furnace yet i’m getting snuffed out.

I’m allowing myself to become empty without even putting forth effort to become whole again.

This is dangerous. 

I can not even begin to explain how dangerous these waters are that i’m treading. 

I know because i’ve been here before…but never this long. 

You {God} are good, when there is absolutely nothing {nothing} good in me. 

I realize that. 

More importantly i know and believe that. 

I suppose the struggle comes from being complacent. 

There in lies the trap, when complacency enters the picture…it takes brute GODLY strength to break free, to be free from that bondage.

Yet our flesh, our sinful nature, wants us to believe that we can’t survive without the emptiness. That on the other side there is this unknown that will let us down, just like everyone else. It’s easier to stay wrapped in the security of an absently numbing struggle than to break free and live a life where you’re aware of the battle. 

Is any of this making sense? 

It’s easier sometimes for me to stay in the security of pain and numbness than to actually break free and deal with the pain that has been plaguing my heart.

It’s always easier to sweep things under the rug—that’s the cowards way out. 

I’m over being a coward. 

 Are you? 

I miss my joy.

. . .

here. 

Happy

|ˈhapē|

feeling or showing pleasure or contentment

I think, I know i so often put on a front that nothing is wrong and that my life is well…blissful. While that is true some days, most days i have yet to deal with the issues God has been lovingly assuring me i can deal with. When i don’t deal with them, when i shove them down, when i forget they are there i continue to build foundation less walls over the issue, only creating a more unstable, dangerous, and catastrophic mess. 

Praise God i don’t have to deal with it alone. 

I know what Happiness is…i know what it feels like to have unexplainable and completely Christ given joy exploding out of me. 

I know the resonating love that comes from letting go and embracing freedom. 

Yet in my sin i run from it…

here. 
Psalm 37:17-22 
. . .
Does anyone else know what i mean?
Missing out on the joy? 
I know i’m guilty of not always being upfront and real with people. 
Where here i am, Amy, bearing it all so that you can know that if you sometimes feel empty, confused, questioning, and low on joy…YOU are not alone.
I read in Oswald Chambers “My Utmost For His Highest” yesterday something that struck a chord. 
“A river is victoriously persistent, overcoming all barriers. For a while it goes steadily on its course, but then comes to an obstacle. And for a while it is blocked, yet it soon makes a pathway around the obstacle. Or a river will drop out of sight for miles, only later to emerge again even broader and greater than ever. Do you see God using the lives of others, but an obstacle has come into your life and you do not seem to be of any use to God? Then keep paying attention to the Source, and God will either take you around the obstacle or remove it. The river of the Spirit of God overcomes all obstacles. Never focus your eyes on the obstacle or the difficulty. The obstacle will be a matter of total indifference to the river that will flow steadily through you if you will simply remember to stay focused on the Source. Never allow anything to come between you and Jesus Christ— not emotion nor experience— nothing must keep you from the one great sovereign Source.”
I’m bringing joy back in my life through Jesus. Praise God.
I’m not letting anything come in between of me and my Savior.  
I’ve missed being joyful. 
I’m excited to have it back.

. . .
Every Frankly Friday post i do won’t be so heavy…some will be filled with joy, laughter, and fun. 
I’m just sharing where i am right now…i’m just being Frank with myself and the people that are taking the time to read my rambling. 
I talk about Jesus a lot because He means the absolute most to me. I realize that not everyone has encountered Him the way i have, and in return don’t believe in Him. 
I still love you, and so does He.
. . .
What are you having to be frank with yourself about? 
What is stealing your joy?
Link up so i can read your stories, & thank you for sharing. 

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7 comments on “Frankly Friday…v2”

  1. Katie says:
    September 7, 2012 at 11:38 am

    I needed to read that quote by Oswald Chambers. Needed.

    And yes, I know just where you are. I was just thinking last night that I was feeling a little numb. Hate that feeling. I think I will probably be re-reading this post later today! I definitely identify.

    Reply
  2. Laura says:
    September 7, 2012 at 12:20 pm

    I'll be back later to read your post. 🙂 Just wanted to get mine up before I head out to paint for the day. So much help coming! So excited to get a bunch done. And looking forward to having something good to read when I come home and zone. 🙂

    Reply
  3. Genna says:
    September 7, 2012 at 1:59 pm

    I totally understand that joy-less feeling. Sometimes I think I work to hard to find the joy that I miss it all together. Often all it takes for me is just to sit back and let God do the work. And let me tell ya, He always delivers!

    Reply
  4. Laura says:
    September 7, 2012 at 7:11 pm

    Psalm 40:2-3 came to mind as I read this…
    "He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord."

    I love the example of water!

    Reply
  5. Victoria says:
    September 7, 2012 at 7:20 pm

    Wrote my post! 🙂

    Then, I took a moment to read yours. I know just what you mean about being "meh" with God and I also know first hand what it does to my SOUL.

    I love how seriously you are taking this. Our "meh-ness" is sin and it leads to more sin. We have to make war with it or it will destroy us, even if it's just for a season.

    This Frankly Friday thing is clearly just what we need!

    Reply
  6. Recently Roached says:
    September 7, 2012 at 9:14 pm

    Such an awesome link-up! 🙂 I hope you do this every week. Loved this post. What a great reminder to be joyful in the Lord; I'm glad you're finding your joy again 🙂

    Reply
  7. All Grown Up and Single says:
    September 9, 2012 at 4:06 am

    Amy, you are truly a God-send to me. For the 2nd time, your "Frankly Friday" has been right on the mark. I really thank God for bringing me to your blog because you are preaching to me right now. Your honesty is so refreshing. You seem to say the things that I'm afraid to admit even to myself. But your honesty shows that we CAN move forward. Thank you!
    p.s.- I love love love "My Utmost for His Highest"

    Reply

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I'm Amy and I am so blissed out that you are here. To sum up A Loved Life in three words it would simply be: home, health, and adventure. So if you enjoy laughter, hope, adventures, and pursuing life to the fullest - this place is for you. Please feel free to read along as I share all about this crazy thing called life.

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