i was working through the she reads truth devotional this morning (sermon on the mount day 11) when God moved in a mighty way.
sting.
double sting.
to give a little background on my heart at the moment in regards to this – i’ve been struggling with comparison. comparing my heart to others, my body to magazines, my home to pinterest, my cleaning style to the professionals, etc. i continually found myself not measuring up and just digging this self-loathing hole that was really hard to climb out of.
so God spoke, on something that was near and dear to me – comparison, idolatry (loving things/people/ideas/dreams , or holding other opinions higher than God).
so here are my thoughts, copied from my journal, raw and without editing.
sometimes we just need to pull the cover off and be real with each other.
>><<
i often find myself “checking” my heart.
why do i want a pretty house?
why do i want to spend money on decorations?
why do i care about that?
i need to make sure it isn’t simply for apperances. that i do these things with a purpose and without falling into greed with money. i do not want to envy other people’s things. i do not want to carry that weight of constantly comparing;. Yet i find myself sucked into the pinterest and blog cycle of “bla bla bla – i want more, more pretty, more things, more crap…”
deep down – when i remove all of the flesh desires – i want my home to be shared.
i want it to be a place where i invite people to come over, to share, to take a break and relax. i want it to be full of laughter, and sharing hearts, and community. THAT is what i want. not just “nice things to impress people” – but a welcoming home that people want to come to.
i want my house to be a home.
>><<
which then started me dreaming of fall.
bonfires, lights, outdoor games with family, friends, and neighbors.
a night for each.
a moment in time, in my home dedicated to bless those who mean something to me.
people God has placed in my life and environment.
my perspective on my house has changed.
it isn’t about doing 1,000 DIYs.
it isn’t about having the perfect paint color or matching frames.
it isn’t about perfection.
it’s about inviting others in, and making a house my home.
so i’m challenged – and i’m starting to dream of nights full of laughter and conversation…and i’m so happy about it.
what is God teaching you lately?
how is He changing your perspective?
It is SO difficult not to compare our lives to others. This was a good reminder for me, as I struggle with comparison often.
When that happens I try to write out all the blessings God has given me. When I do that, it makes me so ashamed to think I had been ungrateful. God has given me SO much.
You said it, Amy! We are soooo good at making excuses to get things we want the way we want them…but when it comes down to it, a room with ugly walls or tacky carpet or an ancient light fixture will do just a good of job as the home in a magazine of being a PLACE for people to come and BE.
I'm guilty.
Thanks for sharing! 🙂
Yes, Amy! Your words really make me think. I struggle with "I want this…I want that" which distracts me from what is most important.
Thanks for sharing this, Amy! I needed to hear it.
Shallow comment first: we have the same bedding set–obviously meant to be friends.
Serious comment: Comparison is such an easy trap to fall into and I struggle with it alot. But I'm working hard to find rest in exactly where God has us right now and enjoy our current life, and not be striving for so much to be different, or "better." Because really, who actually has it better? We all have great things, they just don't all look the same.