it happened on a mountain top.
the moment where i was reminded that my life is a vapor, a mist, a breath in the wind.
that while my appearance in time is significant, authentic, original, and has a purpose – it is minute.
i am expendable.
but God isn’t.
the wind was howling.
my clothes were being licked back and forth with the crisp irish air.
my hair was twisted and tangled.
and i overlooked mountains, and water, and beauty for miles…and the Lord spoke, whispered, in the midst.
you are mine.
words i’ve heard time and time again from Him.
in scripture, through friends, in sermons, worshipping….i am His, and He is mine.
yet hearing it in another country, completely unexpected, brought this unreal peace.
the light was shinning softly.
creating this ethereal glow – it was like it was set up for just that moment.
to back drop the Lord being who He is – amazing, personal, righteous.
and i noticed the details of my hand.
the sunlight catching my fingernails, my wrinkles being defined, my freckles popping.
and after the superficial – the scratches from hard work, the veins that pumped blood to my organs, the toughness of my skin, the resilience of this shell the Lord has given me.
…and how much i hold on to.
my past, my present, my future.
the worries seem to bleed together.
the questions, the concerns, the frustrations and struggles build into this festering mess.
and i realize i’m trying to do it all myself.
love others, be responsible, love God, practice grace and mercy, do a good job at work, be a good friend, sister, family member,
it happened on a mountain top.
where i saw all of my problems laid before me.
overwhelmed that i can never solve them on my own.
that i will forever be chasing to be better, do better, show better.
and i was reminded of the freedom that i have.
within Christ i don’t have to solve these on my own.
i don’t have to solve them period.
i need to let go of my control (so incredibly hard for me) and trust that God’s Will is better than my own.
and the cliche christian saying from childhood came into clear focus as an adult.
when you let go your hand is open to receive.
but not in this give me way of expecting.
in an open to receive forgiveness…
grace, mercy, stillness, answers, questions, challenges, hope, joy, patience, strength, long-suffering.
it’s open to receive whatever the Lord has before me.
so i suppose there is a question within all of this writing for you today friend.
are you holding on to something, anything, that you should be handing over to the Lord?
are you taking the time to step away from the busy and absorb the quiet time with your creator?
do you need to open your hands, let the struggle fall, and be open to anything (even if it is just more stillness) the Lord has for you?
we are not promised a pretty life.
an easy life, or a wealthy life.
but we are promised a life of communion with the King if we only accept it.
i will take quiet time with my Lord in the dusty corner of the world any day over an empty heart sitting at a table with riches, status, and false relationships.
what about you?