It’s been a little while since I did a life update post (February to be exact!) and figured it’s high time! The last few months have been a whirlwind of feeling like time is flying by and simultaneously crawling. It’s always fun to look back on a season (even while still in it) and see just how it’s all unfolded. I can’t believe we’re already past the middle of August (WHAT!) and fall will be here before we know it. I’ll be honest I will REALLY miss having a new england fall this year. I love those crisp mornings/days/evenings where sweater weather is a real thing. Oh, too soon? It’s never too soon for this fall-loving-soul of mine.
It’s been tough y’all. I’ve had some s-p-i-r-a-l moments over the last few months and I haven’t always reacted well but I’ve found myself growing through it. We still have a little ways to go but the end is in sight and I couldn’t be ready and thrilled. Deployment teaches you A LOT about yourself as much as it teaches you about your marriage. It calls out the ugly and enhances the good – it brings a sense of urgency, stress, transparency, desperation, sorrow, joy, and commitment. It’s a season for growing and thriving as well as digging out some deep rooted stuff to see it for what it is. I’ve learned a lot during this season and I’m sure there will so much more to glean once it’s done.
Y’all. It’s been a crazy ride the last few weeks here at the Homestead. We knew we need both the upstairs and downstairs HVAC units & ductwork replaced as well as a new moisture barrier put in downstairs. The downstairs unit started really crapping out on me so I scheduled to just have it done. We were without HVAC downstairs for just over 24hours and they worked hard at getting it all completed by a Thursday night. Friday night I got home after midnight and realized upstairs was super hot. Sure enough the upstairs unit was off and I couldn’t get it to turn back on. I was able to schedule an after service repairman to come out the next day ($$$) to take a look. I slept on the sofa due to the upstairs being about 79 degrees. I was woken up before 8AM to the doorbell and met a neighbor I’ve never seen before who said “you’ve got A LOT of water coming in your front yard”. After calling my brother over, crying, and calling a plumber it ended up being a busted main water pipe. -__- The upstairs unit had overflowed (but thankfully not onto the ceiling) and the pipes had to be flushed and all the water taken out. The plumber was able to replace that part of the pipe but digging under our walkway, etc. I ended up spending a lot of money in a a short amount of time all with the notion that we really need to get the upstairs unit and duct work done asap. HVAC stuff is absolutely NO joke and is so expensive to replace but is needed with the heat indexes of 100+…it’s just a lot to do with Eddie not being here.
If I’m being honest I had BIG GOALS during these last few months with Eddie being gone. I wanted to drop 30lbs but I didn’t really make it there. I’ve lost about 8lbs which is what it is. I’ve been working out like crazy but food, as always, has been my struggle. I think battling stress, not sleeping well, and just life change has not helped letting go of the weight. I am hopeful that in the upcoming months as the stress lessens I’ll focus more on the food aspect and continue to grow in health.
100% honesty here friends, I’m not really in a great place with God. I LOVE God and pray and worship and my faith is in no question at all. Yet I haven’t really made time for that personal connection and community with Jesus and it shows in the weight of my heart. It shows in the words that come out of my mouth. It shows in my lack of patience. It shows with how I feel about certain things. YET, I also see how God is moving in the silence, moving through my hurt/numbness. He is teaching me how to love others in a different light, He is refining my attitude, He is helping me see the bigger picture. It’s quite beautiful to watch even if I don’t feel like I always have a front row seat.
Blogging / Photography
If I’m being honest I’ve felt weighed down by both. Creativity has just NOT been flowing. You may, or may not, have noticed I’ve been a little quite on the blog front and I think that just comes from feeling uninspired and getting into a routine. I definitely need to spend more time when I’m off of work filling up on things that will inspire me. I’ve been reading books (and need to read some more), listening to music, and watching some movies that have been sitting in my netflix watch list for way too long. I need to go on more walks, go park downtown and stroll around, spend time doing some blog work sitting in a coffee shop vs at home. I just need to shake up my routine some.
Photography has been on and off. I’ve been inundated with sessions then crickets. I think that just comes from this season of feeling displaced and “waiting” on Eddie to get home. I am a creature of structure, lists, and schedules so when I feel like something is constantly hanging over me It can make me not dig in and pour out good content.
I feel like I’m floating through life at the moment vs intentionally running through it. It’s an odd feeling and season but I’m learning to embrace it, of course I am at the end.
Hopes Coming Up…
- I can’t wait to be with Eddie again and to live our lives together.
- I’m excited for all of the house projects we both want to work on to continue making this place our home.
- I look forward to watching some movies that I wasn’t able to watch in theaters (hello Aladdin, The Lion King, etc).
- Halloween decorating will begin soon (not in August, calm down friends lol) and I can’t wait to be able to use all of my halloween decorations that were left in Charleston when we moved.
Weighing Heaving On My Heart…
- Finances. We’ve had a lot of home expenses (like listed above) that really can take a toll.
- Cats. As you know Tobi was a huge part of my life and I still miss him tremendously. I find myself being REALLY ready to get 2 kittens but also find myself enjoying this season of not being responsible for pets. Eddie told me that I could get kittens while he was gone but I want to wait for him to be back home so they can bond with him. I’m just not sure if we will get them this winter or some time next year.
- Not knowing what the next few months will hold (I told you this planner heart struggles with that!).