What is Frankly Friday?
Let’s define Frankly shall we…
frankly |ˈfra ng klē|adverbin an open, honest, and direct manner
. . .
I want this to be a way for all of us to be open, raw, and transparent with not only each other…but with ourselves. I think we put a lot of stock into the “fear” of what others may think of us…into the “fear” of really putting what’s on your heart out there in case someone decides to tear you down.
I’m over the fear & you should be too.
So let’s write…whether it’s about a situation you’re struggling through, a victory you’ve made, a memory that you can’t let go of…anything as long as it’s honest.
. . .
. . .
I was going to write a post on relationships…on where, i suppose, i stand with them.
Then i found myself thinking i don’t want to sound stupid and do i really want to say all of that and finally but what if i say it and then want to take it back. So i’ve decided to just keep those little nuggets within my head for the moment.
It’s so frustrating.
Sometimes you just want to spit something out but you don’t want to offend anyone.
Well i suppose that isn’t being very frank now is it?
Ok, frank it is.
I’m just a little down.
Not always down, just momentarily when i let my mind process.
A lot of my friends are entering into a beautiful new season of their lives {read engagement/marriage/children here} and i am so incredibly happy for them.
Yet, it’s a small reminder of where i am.
Single.
I was reminded last night of how my relationships status truly does not matter. What matters is where i am in relation to God, what am I doing to better serve Him, and how am i growing as an individual within my singleness? These are all things i know…all things i believe and hold close to my heart.
But sometimes…sometimes i miss holding a hand, having conversations, building a relationship; i suppose the pain comes from being reminded of how beautiful something can be, because you’ve had it, and facing the fact that in this current state of affairs your’e without.
I have many MANY moments of true comfort and security within my singleness; i am also allowed to have moments of frustration and sadness. IHATE LOATHE people & books who tell me that “if you’re not fully content in your singleness than you are not seeking out God”. Umm, excuse me but who are you to know my heart and more importantly you are wrong.
Let me put it this way:
God has put the desire in my heart to be married, a desire that i know is fully from God.
While i may become comfortable and secure with the season of singleness i am in, i will always have a passion/desire within me to be married. Does that make me a bad person? No. What about less of a Christian woman? Heck no.
The problem comes where within your singleness your main focus is to find a relationship/be in a relationship/ BE MARRIED. That should never ever be your main focus.
Why?
Because it becomes an idol, something you value before God, more than God.
That doesn’t mean that if you’re single and yearn for marriage it is a sin.
This also doesn’t mean that if you make a dang pinterest board for your future marriage that you are “not content within your singleness”.
Content, let’s discuss that word shall we.
Content means being at a certain level of satisfaction.
In what area of our relationship with God should we ever be content? More importantly if we are at a place of contentment within our relationship with God i would rather call it complacency and say that you need a motivation check. {as i need motivation checks all of the time}
BLLUUURRRGGG.
Here’s the thing guys:
I’m comfortable in my singleness at the moment. I enjoy being able to come home and not have to worry about cooking or cleaning (all the time). I like spending time with my girlfriends and not having to check in. I love that i am not having to put forth the emotional energy to build up a foundation for a future union at the moment….it’s freeing.
That doesn’t mean that i dont want to cook for someone, love someone, invest in someone, or check in.
I desire all of those things and find myself thinking about them.
I just realize that where i am in life is just that…where i am.
God has a design that i don’t always understand.
Sometimes my emotions get all messed up and i wonder when will it ever happen, and i have to be brought back down to reality and realize that my timing is not always Gods.
So…there is my struggle for the moment; maybe an hour from now i’ll be thinking pssshhhh who even cares about boys and then a few moments later well i care about boys.
here.
. . .
I was going to write a post on relationships…on where, i suppose, i stand with them.
Then i found myself thinking i don’t want to sound stupid and do i really want to say all of that and finally but what if i say it and then want to take it back. So i’ve decided to just keep those little nuggets within my head for the moment.
It’s so frustrating.
Sometimes you just want to spit something out but you don’t want to offend anyone.
Well i suppose that isn’t being very frank now is it?
Ok, frank it is.
I’m just a little down.
Not always down, just momentarily when i let my mind process.
A lot of my friends are entering into a beautiful new season of their lives {read engagement/marriage/children here} and i am so incredibly happy for them.
Yet, it’s a small reminder of where i am.
Single.
I was reminded last night of how my relationships status truly does not matter. What matters is where i am in relation to God, what am I doing to better serve Him, and how am i growing as an individual within my singleness? These are all things i know…all things i believe and hold close to my heart.
But sometimes…sometimes i miss holding a hand, having conversations, building a relationship; i suppose the pain comes from being reminded of how beautiful something can be, because you’ve had it, and facing the fact that in this current state of affairs your’e without.
I have many MANY moments of true comfort and security within my singleness; i am also allowed to have moments of frustration and sadness. I
Let me put it this way:
God has put the desire in my heart to be married, a desire that i know is fully from God.
While i may become comfortable and secure with the season of singleness i am in, i will always have a passion/desire within me to be married. Does that make me a bad person? No. What about less of a Christian woman? Heck no.
The problem comes where within your singleness your main focus is to find a relationship/be in a relationship/ BE MARRIED. That should never ever be your main focus.
Why?
Because it becomes an idol, something you value before God, more than God.
That doesn’t mean that if you’re single and yearn for marriage it is a sin.
This also doesn’t mean that if you make a dang pinterest board for your future marriage that you are “not content within your singleness”.
Content, let’s discuss that word shall we.
Content means being at a certain level of satisfaction.
In what area of our relationship with God should we ever be content? More importantly if we are at a place of contentment within our relationship with God i would rather call it complacency and say that you need a motivation check. {as i need motivation checks all of the time}
BLLUUURRRGGG.
Here’s the thing guys:
I’m comfortable in my singleness at the moment. I enjoy being able to come home and not have to worry about cooking or cleaning (all the time). I like spending time with my girlfriends and not having to check in. I love that i am not having to put forth the emotional energy to build up a foundation for a future union at the moment….it’s freeing.
That doesn’t mean that i dont want to cook for someone, love someone, invest in someone, or check in.
I desire all of those things and find myself thinking about them.
I just realize that where i am in life is just that…where i am.
God has a design that i don’t always understand.
Sometimes my emotions get all messed up and i wonder when will it ever happen, and i have to be brought back down to reality and realize that my timing is not always Gods.
So…there is my struggle for the moment; maybe an hour from now i’ll be thinking pssshhhh who even cares about boys and then a few moments later well i care about boys.
here.
. . .
Would you like to read some of the past Frankly Fridays? Give it a go…
. . .
Don’t forget to link up if you posted today!
I've been married for 2 years but before then, I was that single person with all the dating/engaged/married friends. So I've been in your position and I know how frustrating it is to get "head-patting" (talking-down, patronizing) advice from all the people who HAVE SOMEONE!
"If you're not fully content in your singleness than you are not seeking out God". <– I agree that this idea is wrong. I believe that in some cases, God brings a relationship into our lives in order to HELP our faith develop and grow.
Hi Amy! I've been "the single one" through a couple rounds of friends, who are all married (with children) or engaged now. It is absolutely hard to be in that position some days.
One verse that got me through is 1 Cor 7:34 "And the unmarried or betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy in body and spirit. But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband."
It helped me see that my singleness was not so much a lack of someone special, but a gift of undivided attention in order to grow in my knowledge and understanding and love of God!
I am praying for you as a sister in Christ who also needs that constant motivation reminder to not be complacent in her walk with the Lord! 🙂
Have a great day!
hahaha…Don't even get me started! Every time I turn around someone knows the perfect person for me to marry or has a warning about a person I should not even consider. lol!
I'm sitting here saying,"God if you want me in a relationship,, you'll make it happen. People, chill! I'd rather be where I am than with the wrong one."
No jerk (or a miraculous sweetheart) is worth rushing around God with. But, then, I am pretty stubborn.
"Content means being at a certain level of satisfaction.
In what area of our relationship with God should we ever be content?"
Amy!!! I love love LOVE that statement right there!!!
And no… nothing is wrong with wanting a marriage. Also… should your desire to cook for someone else ever become to strong you are always welcome to come cook for me. 🙂
"Content means being at a certain level of satisfaction.
In what area of our relationship with God should we ever be content?"
Like Laura, I totally am with you there. What an amazing quote!
I love this post, just because it's so honest & sincere.
Hang in there, girl. I know what you are going through. I know people hate for people to say that, but i truly DO. I was single through all of my twenties. SINGLE. As in, not even a date. Well, except for a FEW blind dates in my late twenties. I went through phases. Early twenties? Singleness was good. 24-26 – i was happy single, even became content & JOYFUL about it. 27-28-29? I was getting a bit irritated. I used to talk & argue & beg God. WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?!
I also don't agree w/ a lot of things people say. You won't meet your husband until you are completely content single? BALONEY. Are you saying ALL of my friends who married before me were content & happy single? Heck no! There are other wrong statements about it, and they all drove me bananas.
It is a god-given desire put in you & one day you will meet him & you will understand why God timed it all the way he did. At least somewhat. And it will be good. 🙂
Btw, I go through this now trying to get pregnant & it is HARD. I am now 34…almost 35…still no kids. Think that's easy? Sometimes I'm content, sometimes angry, but i know that God is involved, that He knows my desires & has a plan.
HUGS, Girl!! xoxo
hey there! just letting you know that i nominated you for an award! if you'll head over to my blog, you can see it. (:
YEAAA! I love this post. It's so true. We are freefreefree to have the desire to be married and it doesn't mean we are not 'content.' There is such a difference between wanting to be married and having marriage be an idol-you are so right. It is super clear to me that God is drawing you towards himself and sanctifying you..that is way more important than your marital status. I want to be more like that!
Oh my goodness…this post is SO me…it's depressing to be alone in a world of happy couples. And Valentine's Day is coming up soon, whoopee. I am trying so very hard to be content in my singleness, but sometimes it is much harder than others!