with valentines day right around the corner, i thought i would shed a little light on the subject of singleness.
this time of year (especially after the holidays) can feel a little lonely – and i’ve found that i even get a little sad at all of the love being thrown around. it isn’t that i’m bitter, angry, fully sad, or even always jealous – it’s just a small little reminder of something you desire but don’t currently have. i actually read something from a kay arthur Bible study recently that resonated so loudly within my heart.
amen and amen right?
the truth is, i’m not promised marriage – even though i desire it – it may not become a reality in my life. after many, many, years of wrestling through those thoughts/emotions/frustrations i’ve come to a place of being able to say if that is God’s Will, then i will move forward.
even though i still have days where i long for companionship and to be tied to another person i’ve found that this season of singleness is actually needed, really beautiful, and can be a lot of fun! yes, i just said singleness can be fun. i’m a firm believer that the roads we walk in life are not in vain, but are to encourage us, prepare us, strengthen us, and draw us closer to our foundation.
how to stay happy in singleness:
// be active.
go do something!
kayak, hike, go to an art class, go to the movies (yes, you can go by yourself!), join recreation clubs, meet new people – get out of your comfort zone. if you’re sitting around frustrated that you’re “not in a relationship” then you’ll never find happiness or enjoy life. go travel, build your friendships, and have fun! i’ve found that i could care less if i go kayaking with a boyfriend or with a family member/friend/by myself – because i’m still having fun regardless! get moving, get healthy, stay healthy, and enjoy life!
let me say this very clearly – you do not need a man to make you happy or to go do fun things. you also do not need a man to figure out who you are as a woman. take this time to figure out who YOU are without the influence of another persons needs. what makes you happy? what do you enjoy doing? explore all of these opportunities to learn and grow and be challenged. figure out what makes you tick, what frustrates you, what motivates you…who are YOU as a person? because if/when that day comes that you tie yourself to another person, they have fallen in love with who you are and you never need to loose that.
// learn something new.
this kind of goes hand in hand with being active.
but find something that you enjoy doing – and learn more about it.
i like photography, so i’ve started my own little hobby/side business and have really found a rhythm in it. i also really like using my hands and creating things – so fedeli was born. so get to thinking! do you want to learn how to cook some new meals? (anyone know how to master thai cooking? come teach me!) maybe you want to learn how to use some power tools (me too!), or how to rock climb, or how to paint, etc etc. just challenge yourself. take some local classes and expand your brain!
// your worth is not defined by your status.
you’ve read that right.
i don’t say, hi, i’m amy, and i’m single.
no thank you.
i proudly proclaim, hi, i’m amy and i am a daughter of the Most High King and i am His beloved.
that’s right – i’m special, unique, and beautiful with or without a ring on my finger.
let’s remind ourselves what the Word of God says shall we…
“charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.”
– Proverbs 31:30
“the LORD your GOD is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing.”
did you catch that?
if you’re seeking to align your heart with the LORDS – that is what matters, and what will be praised.
and regardless of where you are in life – the LORD is with you, He will encourage and save you, He will rejoice with you and over you, HE IS GLAD, he will restore, balance, and quiet you by His never ending and overwhelming love – and HE SINGS OVER YOU.
your worth is found in God, and God alone.
you are beloved.
…and you don’t need a relationship status to remind you of that. <3
p.s. it’s ok to have days where you hate your singleness.
i’ve had many nights (had one recently actually) where i just watched rom coms, cried, and asked God why i’m still single. it’s hard – i get it! take those moments/days/seasons with a grain of salt and then shake them off and remind yourself how fantastic you are and just move forward. don’t let the enemy suck you into believing that you’re worthless – i’ve been there and it’s not fun or beneficial.