A few years ago I found myself journaling one night wrapped up in anxiety.
It was one of those weeks where every day the pressure started to build and that night I just couldn’t figure out where truth began and lies creeped in. That’s the funny thing about anxiety, everything begins to look like a truth and it’s hard to not believe the lie. I remember learning in one of my counseling sessions that one of the ways to stop the cycle of anxiety is to focus on the truth of the situation and separate the lie.
In this case I think it’s important for me to walk through what’s true in my life and what I’m currently struggling with. We live in a world where we are often told and shown that things should unfold a certain way and timelines are a key to success. That we should always be wearing a smile, living in a super fit body, have a perfectly cleaned and decorated home, and at least $50k in our savings account. Life doesn’t really work that way and I want to be true to myself and authentic with you. Right now we’re in a weird season of life and as I said in this instagram post I’m struggling to get out of the pity party feeling and embrace the joy and the grace of change.
Things I Know To Be True…
- Jesus loves me.
- Eddie loves me.
- I’m moving back to South Carolina.
- Things are going to change.
- I’m obsessed with Everbowl.
- I’m also obsessed with Poke bowls.
- I’ve really enjoyed the new Netflix Christmas movies.
- I’ve been going to some Orange Theory Fitness classes and feel my body slowly getting stronger.
- I’m overweight, but with everything happening right now, the number may not change until I get situated back in Charleston.
- Sound machines make falling asleep so much easier.
- Packing s.u.c.k.s.
- I’ll be living with Maria again!
Things I’m Struggling With…
- I’m moving back to South Carolina.
- Figuring out where to find employment when I’m back in Charleston.
- Seeing friends again and getting re-integrated in their lives and them in mine.
- Tobi’s health. He has been diagnosed with hyperthyroidism and diabetes; he also is elderly (13 1/2) and this will be his third move in under a year – 2nd cross country move. I worry if he will make the trip or if we should be exploring other options before the move.
- Leaving the friends I’ve made here in California. This group of Navy spouses really get what I’m walking through
- My weight. I feel incredibly heavy and large.
- Maria and I were roommates for about 7 years and we’ve been out of practice for about 2 before we live together for a good bit of next year. I’m hoping we are able to get back into a good routine and not drive each other too crazy.
What’s going on in your heart & world?
How was your Thanksgiving weekend?
