I found myself spilling these words out in my journal the other night and have continually felt this tug to share it in this space.
I realize that while I talk about my husband it’s not as often as I think or as in depth as I’m feeling.
For the longest time walking through my singleness I found myself in this deep desire for marriage and now that this is a part of my life I want to share it more. For my single women who continue to read this, know that I’m here for you, that I get it (truly), and that I hope that this can bring some comfort. God answers, prayers, maybe not in the timeline, the fashion, or even the avenue we think He will, but He always does.
This morning Eddie was in the shower getting ready for work. I put the water to boil, filled the french press and then pulled his uniform out of the dryer and laid it on the bed for him. He came into the kitchen, pulled me into his arms and as my head rested against his chest he simply said “I Love You.”
I don’t want to forget these moments.
The ones that I prayed for over many years asking God why wasn’t it this guy or that one. Frustrated that I was starting another year single and feeling unwanted. Dreaming of a man wrapping his arms around me, my back to his chest, while I made dinner or washed dishes. Crying over a future I never thought would come to fruition . . . and just last night Eddie threaded his arms around my waist while my hands were soaked with water washing the dishes.
I have a husband who pulls me close to dance in the kitchen.
Who selflessly rubs my back when he is exhausted, who encourages me to keep chasing dreams. Eddie provides for me and loves me and listens to what I need. If I ask him to text me when he is doing xyz he does. He helps me make the bed and enjoys the evenings I don’t feel like cooking and we eat rice and eggs. He draws me a bath when he knows I need to relax and will run his hand up and down my back for comfort. He does all of that and so much more, but it’s the little things we can take for granted and I never want to take them for granted.
While I find myself getting sucked into the comparison game it is moments like these that draw me back. God knew what He was doing in having me wait for Eddie. I look at our days and see the answer to so many heart wrenching prayers.
When my husband randomly looks at me, tears up, and tells me how thankful he is for me . . . nothing could top it.
God answered me with Eddie and I want to show more thankfulness towards that blessing.