// psalm 119: 33-40
“Teach me, O LORD, the way of your statues;
and i will keep it to the end.
Give me understanding, that i may keep your law
and observe it with my whole heart.
Lead me in the path of your commandments,
for i delight in it.
Incline my heart to your testimonies,
and not to selfish gain!
Turn my eyes from looking at worthless things;
and give me life in your ways.
Confirm to your servant your promise,
that you may be feared.
Turn away the reproach that i dread,
for your rules are good.
Behold, i long for your precepts;
in your righteousness give me life!”
man.
my heart is so heavy this morning.
i’m working through a study right now that pointed me to this scripture as a connection verse.
i was already quivering in awe at the movement of God throughout the day’s study and how it was suffocating the sin in my heart and tears were stinging my eyes.
and then i read this.
and it was like the dams broke and i was left in a heaping emotional mess on the floor.
i’m gutted.
g.u.t.t.e.d.
v34…give me understanding that i may keep your law and observe it with my whole heart…
man, i desperately need that understanding today (and all days).
i want to KNOW the depths of God, of His word, of His commandments, and i want my entire heart to move with the knowledge and connect and be changed.
v 37…turn my eyes from looking at worthless things and give me life in your ways…
i’m an idolatress.
yes, yes i am.
i put so many things before God and my relationship with Him that i often find myself wondering why He cares, why He continues to pursue me, why i’m written in His book at all.
and most of all, why for any reason, He passionately loves me.
it baffles my mind.
it humbles my spirit.
it completely and utterly astounds me.
v40b….in your righteousness give me life!
i’m desperately clinging to that prayer today.
i need life.
i need the righteousness of Jesus to wash over me.
to remind me that He is bigger than my sin.
that He is the propitiation for my recklessness.
that He offers new grace and new mercies every single morning.
man.
i’m a wretched sinner.
but thankfully i have an everlasting Savior.