ah – weight loss.
this is something that makes me cringe and get excited in the same breathe.
also – weight is a touchy subject for 99% of women (and men).
i am not going to lie – posting this is really scary for me.
no one wants to be suuuper vulnerable with the world – especially when posting “not so flattering” pictures.
let’s get real shall we?
i’ve hated my weight since i was 13 years old – yup, started that young.
and by hated i mean i have had many nights of tears, screaming, and self-loathing that have eaten me alive for years. i would binge eat my feelings, boredom eat, eat to “prove i didn’t care what you thought”….etc. food was a comfort to me – and still can be. i struggle with food addiction.
i’ve yo-yo dieted.
eaten restricted calories.
played sports (swam competitively for 13 years!).
gone through fads.
tried slim fast / special k / weight watchers / etc.
i’ve never “loved” my body.
while i may have liked certain assets – the whole package never made me happy.
and when i really boiled it down to the truth – i put myself there.
i chose to not exercise.
i chose to not eat healthy.
i chose to stay in an horrible cycle that only took years off of my life.
2012 was the heaviest i have ever been (i was even heaver than my highest point in high school). i am not really sure how i got there, but i did. it was a low, low season for me. i hated myself even more.
then i decided to change.
i can not remember the exact moment, thought, picture, conversation that sparked the true momentum but it happened. last march (2013) i started seeing a trainer once a week. i cut back on eating out, started cooking more and really researching healthy recipes. i started making slow changes in my day to day life that i knew would one day add up to bigger changes.
the weight slowly, very slowly, began to come off.
one pound here, two pounds there, three pounds….then up 4 pounds, then down two….it was a weird cycle. it was like my body just didn’t know what was happening.
last fall (2013) is when i really, really got serious.
for two weeks i reset my body with a strict lean meats and veggies diet.
it stretched me – it also showed me that i could do this.
i started lifting weights more.
i started running again.
i started filling my fridge with healthy food and not setting myself up for failure.
i started making smarter choices.
i started being serious about the rest of my life.
i want to live as long as God allows me – and i want to live healthy.
since this blog is my little place to help remember details – i want to remember right now.
i’m just passed the middle of this journey.
last year i lost around 40lbs – so i’m over the “halfway goal”.
i still have a little ways to go before i reach my “goal weight“.
(about another 20-25 pounds)
i still look in the mirror most days and am not happy with what i see…this is a mindset i’m working on changing. i want to love myself and be proud of the progress i have made so far.
so i’ve tried on some of these outfits again to help myself see the progress.
they say pictures speak 1,000 words…and to me, these do.
these are my “in-progress” pictures.
i still have some target areas i want to work on, but i’m getting stronger and healthier.
& for kicks…
// i am finally able to fit into a pair of pants from 9TH GRADE! they are from my ‘punk’ phase and one of the only pieces i held on to. they are still tight and not super flattering but i can button them and that is progress i haven’t seen in YEARS.
// this is a new dress i got – size 10 i haven’t been that size since what…middle school? i am definitely NOT a size 10 in everything, right now i’m a size 14 in old navy shorts…so that is insane progress too!
i also want this journey i’m on to inspire other people.
you can do it.
and i used to hate that saying of “if i can, you can” but it is so true.
if i, a girl who struggles with food addiction, can get healthy. so can you.
it is hard, hard work.
i’m not going to tell you that some magic pill exists out there.
i’m not going to tell you that you need to be disciplined for just two weeks and then it works.
nope.
it’s a moment to moment thing. struggling through the choices of “do i really need that bagel?” until they become a little less painful.
it’s FORCING yourself to go outside and be active, even though you would rather curl up in front of the tv with a pizza (or chinese!).
over time, your body will get stronger and you will realize you’re capable of so much.
you’ll start to enjoy the challenge – and enjoy seeing your body get healthier.
so this is where i am.
a little past the half-way point.
some days are easier than others, but i’m getting there.
i still have my cheat meals, and days i don’t want to work out; but this isn’t just some diet/workout phase i’m going through, i’m making this a lifestyle.
i’d like to hit my “goal” by the end of the year – that is the “long goal”.
the less-realistic goal would be to hit the ~25lbs by the end of july.
what are some of your goals?
amy! that dress looks incredible on you. and YOU look incredible. i am so proud of you, friend, for all of your hard work. you are such an inspiration (i really mean that) to live a healthier life. and you are so right, this working out and eating healthy thing can't just be a 2 week thing (for anyone) it needs to be a lifestyle. we need to be treating our bodies as they should be…as beautiful creations made by God that should be well cared for. i have to remind myself of that all the time when i don't feel like working out or when i'd rather eat pizza like every day of the week 😉
you are doing a fantastic job, girl, and you look great. keep up the good work!!
So awesome! I love the two legs in one side of the shorts!!! You look great friend!!!
I love love love this post! Wow, you really look amazing! I'm so proud of you. 40 lbs is an amazing accomplishment! The shorts photo made me laugh out loud for real. You're so funny and cute!
Wow, Amy…this was truly inspiring and obviously God had this waiting for me in my Blogger feed to read this morning.
Thank you for putting so much of you out there and sharing your story with such transparency and grace.
So you rock. AND you're amazing and I know for a fact that you're inspiring, too. I am inspired by your ability to be so honest and open about faith, life, and now, weight loss.
And can I just say that I love that last dress? It's beautiful and so are you (inside and out!). 🙂
Amy, I don't know you and just have begun to read your blog a few months ago. But this is so amazing! And I know eactly what you're talking about. Food is my comfort, too. I remeber a time, when my family did not have a lot of money and I started eating. I could eat two bars of chocolate. Good thing that this happened to me, while I was still a child living at home, and my mom could somewhat stop me. But everytime I hit a low point, I just wann curl up in bed and eat. And then, last summer when I moved out and became responsible for myself more than ever I had that moment you talked about. I don't knwo when it happened or what triggered it. But is was there. I also started eating healthier and started doing sport more frequently. And the amazing thing is, that you'll hit a day, when it is no more about weight loosing, but about feeling better when taking care of yourself! I'm so proud of you (even though I don't know you!) and am amazed by what you accomplished! I know how hard it sometimes is.Thank you for sharing and I totally believe you can do this! 🙂
Way to go, Amy!!! I have a small insight into what this progress required of you!
I love the first picture in your highschool pants! And that new dress is gorgeous!
Look at all those !'s, I guess I'm a little excited for you!!! 🙂
You've got me thinking about goals now…I've been in a season of coasting, maybe I should start accomplishing again!
Amy, this is totally inspiring!! And bravo on your weight loss so far, it's clear you've worked so hard and done so well, you deserve congratulations!! Reading this definitely motivates me to try a little harder in my fitness/healthy lifestyle quest. I've been dabbling for a while and just recently decided to really commit to getting in shape and this inspires me even more!! Awesome job girl!!
You are stunning! You always have been, but the air of confidence and pride you have now really resonates in your pictures. I really need to jump on the healthy lifestyle train, maybe this will be my year! Thanks for being so inspiring, Amy.
Wowwee!! That's incredible! I'm so proud of you!!
I've only started following your blog recently, but seeing from where you've come from to where you are now, it's awesome to see you living out your convictions!
You are beautiful in Christ back then as much as now because of the finished work He has done for you. And also more beautiful because of the continuing work He is doing in you.
Ultimately you nailed it when you said, " I started being serious about the rest of my life". When God put that on my heart, it kick started how seriously I started thinking about my future, finances, and lifestyle habits and health.
I was convicted of my eating habits and lifestyle choices and also reaping the benefits of just functioning closer to a way God intended food to be used!
Thank you for sharing this with us in such a real way
This is a really inspiring post, and I really liked what you said about making healthy living a lifestyle! I'm at the point where I need to be more conscientious about my weight/health in general. So thanks for sharing your story, it has encouraged me to be more motivated about my health!
Also, I just wanted to let you know I nominated you for the Leibster Award over at my blog, oyescribes.blogspot.com!
Congratz Amy on your weight loss success and you look wonderful! Sharing your story and pics are an inspirations to us all who desire to lose weight.
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I know I commented on FB but I also forgot to mention that I LOVE the last dress. Stunning! Beautiful words, a beautiful soul, and a beautiful lady! Love you!
You go, girl!! Way to stick with this and make healthier choices! That's so great. 🙂 Also, I love your striped tee! That is SO cute!
That is awesome, girl!!! Congrats!!! 🙂 🙂 You lookin good! 🙂
This is such an encouraging post! Wow! You have come so far and have done so great! I can't wait to see how far you continue to go. I always love seeing your posts on instagram after you workout. It reminds me and encourages me to get back out there. I started a 'fitness' page on my blog, but have done a horrible job keeping up with it. Confession: I can't remember the last time I worked out. Although, the past couple of days I have gotten the urge to go running. And like us and Kiki talked about, I really want to get back into running. I actually enjoyed it when I did it. And that alone is something I never thought would happen! My goal now is to get back to running and to make it a lifestyle. I had that down for about 3 or 4 weeks and then stopped…I want it forever!
Wow, girl! You look GREAT. I am so happy for you and proud of you for also having the courage to post about this. I am sure it will provide more motivation for you and encouragement as well. Keep up the hard work, it's paying off! 🙂
SO GORGEOUS!!
Congratulations on the progress you've made! You look wonderful! And that last dress???? Oh my gosh, I want to die.
Fan. Freaking. Tastic.
I have never really been overweight (although in college I have what Jordan lovely refers to as "chipmunk cheeks"), and I really have so much admiration and respect for people who worked hard to lose weight and be healthy. You are a rockstar!