today i have a special treat for you.
a few weeks ago my brother reached out to me about guest posting on the blog.
he wanted to do something special to mark the two-year anniversary between him & his girlfriend. <3
how sweet is that?! of course i couldn’t say no, and when i read all that he had written – i had tears in my eyes. i hope that his words reach out and touch your soul as well.
& happy anniversary lando + emily! i’m so blessed to know you both!
on what it is like to be a twenty-three-year-old male who’s found out what it
is to really feel loved. I’m not some philosopher or someone as eloquent in
writing as my sister; shoot I’m the type of person who struggles to get out of
bed because I’d rather spend time sleeping. Some might see this as being a lazy
bum but I see it as being a master of procrastination and energy conservation.
I have often found during these times when I’m lying in bed late at night or
early in the morning and I don’t’ feel like getting up my mind starts to
wander. During these wanderings I find myself thinking about all kinds of
things ranging from school work, to my internship, my future as a clinician, my
family, my wonderful girlfriend (Emily), God and how he helps me to wake up
each morning, and whether or not I will have time to make breakfast because I
have been day dreaming so long. However, even though I have thousands of these
day dreams I find this one common theme to appear over and over and that is WHAT IS LOVE?
Now I know this is coming from a
man’s point of view and emotion is not our strong suit but stick with me here.
What is love to you? What does it mean to be in love and to be loved? These are
things I have wondered since I was a kid. When my father passed away one thing
I kept being told by family over and over again was how much my father loved me.
As a kid it was hard to grasp the whole concept of love because at that point
in time love was just this nice feeling you had for your family members and
close friends. It was the thing you said to your family members to show them
you cared and show them you felt for their wellbeing. For me I knew there was
much more to love than just a hug and kiss on the cheek from a family member. I
have to put it into context I was only eight turning nine when my father passed
and it was a rough patch for my sister and mother and love was something we had
for each other but I still hadn’t quite grasped it. I look back on those times and
I realize I was loved very dearly by my older brat of a sister and my wonderful
mother. Not to mention the out pouring of support coming from my family and
My real idea of love started to
come on while my mother was in the hospital fighting leukemia. As an eleven and
twelve-year-old kid it was hard to see my mom in the hospital, it was hard to
see her struggle with the pain and suffering, that came with the chemo and the
daily tolls of being in the hospital for so long. However, the whole time she
was in the hospital I can never remember a time when she was upset or
frustrated. I cannot remember her being angry or mad. No the only thing I
remember of my mother in that hospital was her laughing with my sister and I,
telling us how much she loved us and couldn’t wait to get out of the hospital
to be with us. I remember her shaving her head with grace laughing all the
while, like cancer was a joke and she was positively going to beat it. I have
heard from others that their experiences with my mother in the hospital was
different. People have said my mother was the strongest women they ever met.
She would be weak from chemo barley able to move and yet she would still find a
way to tell a nurse about Jesus or talk to a friend about their life and help
them with their problems. This is what I started to see as the real love in the
world. My mother giving it her all not just for herself but for others. She had
a fiery energetic light to her and would never give up, she was a kind and beautiful
soul, she was the kind of woman I had always hoped to find in a future
Speaking of girlfriends did I
mention I have one. Her name is Emily and man if she isn’t the girl of my
dreams and truly someone my parents would have loved to meet. Emily is a
fighter, she is a giver, loyal to a tee, and always wanting to do new things.
She loves long walks on the beach and picnics in the mountains…this was meant
in a joking way but is actually quite true. She has an obvious obsession with
dogs and might possible love them more than she loves me. She is the kind of person who always finds the
best in people and will never give up on them. While this may be her flaw to
some people in my mind it is what makes her the one I love the most. She will
do anything and everything to help those around her and she will do it with a
smile on her face and true kindness in her heart. In the two years we have been
together I could not have asked for a better life. The times we have spent
together the things we have done and yes even the troubles we have faced and
the fights we have had. It has all lead me to become the person I am today and
without her constant outpouring of love and support I’m sure I would have lost
myself a long way back. I knew the pain and troubles I went through as a child
were for a purpose and for a reason. God wanted me to learn how to love and be
loved and how to cherish the people who are near and dear to me.
Looking back on the experiences I
have had in life and my current relationship I think I can finally provide you
with the information we started with. WHAT IS LOVE? To me Love is not just some
nice warm feeling you get, it is not just being there for your friends when
they are down and out. No, love is by my definition, the constant sacrifice of
oneself to better the those they care about. After two years with Emily I know
what it is to be loved. I have recognized the things she does to make me happy
and make me feel wanted and I hope she has seen the things I have done as well.
Love is a feeling you get and an action you make to show those you care about
how much you truly care about them. Love is and will forever be in my mind
something you give to others not just something you hope to receive.
My Sunday school teacher Bill Moody
once said to me, “Life creates life, energy creates energy. It is by spending
oneself that one becomes rich!”. It took me a few to many years to understand
what he meant. My interpretation is this, Loving others, and caring for those
around you is what we has humans are made for. So get out there find someone
and show them you love them, don’t just have the feelings and not make
something happen. If you have those warm butterfly in the tummy feelings get
out there and grab it. Make love an action and make it something you do for
those you care about.